Kundalini Overload: Grounding/Front Channel Block

[lalow33]

Thank you.  It does help.

I'm doing 15 min of breath meditation.  I'll reduce it and not worry about increasing or trying to get back to DM until I feel grounded.

I did feel a small energy breeze last night from the right top of my head down the left side (painful side) of my face.  I don't understand exactly what's going on, so I won't mess with it.  Okay, maybe a few more twists.

[Jim and His Karma]

By "breath meditation", do you mean AYP Pranayama, or another practice? And by "DM" do you mean AYP Deep meditation or another practice? I have some suggestions on that, but first I need to know what you're referring to.

Whenever you feel an asymmetrical wave/pain, do the opposite of your impulse (which is to pay attention to the wave/pain). Instead, immediately focus your attention on the unaffected side, and try to feel/find the same wave/pain there, even if just at 1/1000th the intensity level (even if there's nothing there at all, that's fine....just look for it). Your energy will follow your attention, and by placing attention on the OTHER side, you can begin to perhaps even out the effects.  It's counterintuitive, because there's nothing like pain or energy movements to draw your attention, so you have to learn to go the other way, much like learning to steer into a skid when driving.  But don't overdo it....don't get too obsessive about this...you don't have to stop everything and diligently do this every single time you feel a twinge. Just start favoring this behavior.

If you're able, try to keep your attention (i.e. feel like you're "living") in the unaffected side, generally (the right side). This will also help even things out.

But be very very careful. These tweaks are more significant than you may realize, and if you STAY in this habit of placing attention on one side rather than the other, that habit may outlive its usefulness, and result in further asymmetry problems later. So if/when the left/right issues even out, you need to very consciously remember to stop this habit of attention placement and stop thinking asymmetrically. It will be difficult, and require discipline. In fact, I'm only suggesting these tweaks because your asymmetry issues seem frightfully severe. Serious medicine. DO NOT FORGET to undo it when the asymmetry resolves.

(I prolonged a nasty kundalini rash years longer than necessary because a tiny tweak I'd made to my breathing had become unconscious and natural-seeming, so I never undid it when the problem went away, which caused another problem - the extended rash).

[lalow33]

Hi Jim,

I follow AYP instructions for breath meditation.  I watch the breath in the upper belly region.  That region is becoming tender and bigger, not painful, just a little uncomfortable.

By DM, I mean AYP Deep Meditation.  I have not practiced any pranayama for several weeks.

I do want to add that I also feel the cool mint sensation over my physical heart and left chest, so it's not just pain on that side.  I feel no minty sensation on my right side.

I really appreciate the help.  I won't go overboard following any of your suggestions, but I will follow them.

[Jim and His Karma]

I didn't know about the breath meditation, but I just read the lesson. Sounds like a good thing to be doing. But 15 minutes sounds like a lot to me, especially since you're having all sorts of problems. Maybe consider shortening it? If I were in your shoes, I might drop to 5 or so, then stay there for a couple weeks, then slowly/gradually add a minute back every week, if you're feeling relatively smooth.

Along the same lines, you may want to consider adding back pranayama, but scale it way back. Can you do it for just one or two breath cycles? Asymmetrical energy issues mean your body could use to firmly establish the correct energy pathways (in addition to the "evening-out" suggestions I offered above). And there is no better way to establish the correct energetic pathway (which, at this point, is not where it's flowing) than pranayama.

When Yogani keeps stressing self-pacing, he's not kidding. Over-doing....or quitting....are the opposites of self-pacing. Self-pacing means to do less and less until results are smooth and comfortable. Then, after a while, if you're feeling ok and haven't added anything new in a while and feel a desire, you perhaps do a bit more (3 breath cycles?). Then stay there for a good long while. "Almost nothing" is very, very different from "nothing".

If you do choose to do both (i.e. shorten meditation AND add a touch of pranayama), you should decide which to do first, and then wait a couple weeks before the other. It's not a good idea to make two changes at once. This is a marathon, not a sprint, so super long view and general conservatism is appropriate.

Finally, everything I've written is just suggestion. I'm not trying to be (nor am I qualified to be) The Person Who Fixes You. Hopefully I've given you some things to consider and think about, and you may want to try some of them (preferably heeding my warnings!). But it's up to you. Everyone's unique in their array of blocks and energy issues, so you need to self-manage, self-pace, and self-guide. Just be prudent and conservative and moderate. And, per this thread, I'd urge you to put most of your effort into grounding, rather than fixing specific problems. Grounding is good!

[maheswari]

quote: follow AYP instructions for breath meditation. I watch the breath in the upper belly region. That region is becoming tender and bigger, not painful, just a little uncomfortable.

hello lalow33
in breath meditation we  dont intentionally watch the breath on any specific area...just do the practice...and sometimes naturally the focus will be on one part or another....but it is all very spontaneous

[lalow33]

maheswari,

Thanks for correcting me.  I've stuck with solar centering, so I'm not following breath meditation guidelines.

[lalow33]

Hi Jim,

I was down to 4 breath cycles of spinal breathing before I stopped.  Yes, stopping and starting over and over again is no good.  Maybe, I could do 1-2 cycles.  I'm not sure.

I have some good news.  I was able to lay in Savasana.  I put rocks on my body and down by my feet.  When the left side pain began, I focused on the right.  I felt a twinge, just the slightest pain in my right jaw.  You know what?  The left side pain did not turn into crushing pain/ pressure.  It has been a long time since I could even tolerate that pose for more than a minute or two.

Please don't worry.  I won't get carried away with any tweaks or techniques.  I'll stop whining for now.

[Jim and His Karma]

Good news about the savasana.

"I was down to 4 breath cycles of spinal breathing before I stopped"

How long did you stay with that? I'm guessing not long. If so, there's no way to know that four cycles of pranayama breath cycles are problematic for you, cuz you may have still been feeling the problems of greater length of pranayama (and/or other overdoing) you were practicing before you scaled it back to four.

If you stuck with four cycles for a good while, and are absolutely sure that was causing you problems, then you were almost surely straining in pranayama...doing it too extremely.

I would suggest you add two cycles of pranayama to your routine, and do it calmly and without strain or drama. Then (if things go smoothly, and you've made no other changes for a while) work up very gradually. Again, your energy is wayward, and the best hope for getting it into the correct track is pranayama. Pranayama is your friend. Also: reread Yogani's lesson before you restart it. It's very easy to get into a habit of straying from the directions without realizing it.

And remember that every change you make (adding on or scaling back) requires not hours or days but weeks or even months to fully evaluate. If there's a problem or lack of smoothness, though, it's always ok to scale back. Not quit, though.

Good luck!

[lalow33]

Hi Jim and maheswari,

Since my last post, I've cut back on the meditation time.  I had to drop the solar centering because of belly pain.  My attention is scattered without a focal point, but hopefully I'll be able to relax into it and not complicate it.

I've stepped up the exercise, nothing crazy, but man am I sore!  It feels good to be sore, very grounding.

I tried the living in my right side, couldn't do it at first.  When I finally could, I felt like an alien creature, so weird.  It didn't take much attention to have pain in both sides, definitely not something I do all day.

Thanks for your help!

[Jim and His Karma]

quote:Originally posted by lalow33

My attention is scattered without a focal point, but hopefully I'll be able to relax into it and not complicate it.

Interesting phenomenon to consider: when psychotic people take their meds, many report that their lives seem boring and flat (this is why many refuse to take their meds). And, indeed, they're right. Normalcy is a lot less interesting.

Similarly, you may indeed have a "scattering" problem. Or it may just be that you are so used to vise-gripping your attention on this or that that when you ease off that just a little bit, you feel "scattered". Time will tell.

quote:I've stepped up the exercise, nothing crazy, but man am I sore!  It feels good to be sore, very grounding.

Yep, true. Just don't overdo. But you knew that.

quote:I tried the living in my right side, couldn't do it at first.  When I finally could, I felt like an alien creature, so weird.  It didn't take much attention to have pain in both sides, definitely not something I do all day.

That's great news. But I didn't suggest doing it all day. Rereading my posting, I see that I wasn't quite cautious enough about that.

But you should understand that the asymmetry is a lot more dangerous than the pain itself. If you can get both sides open and integrated - as it sounds like your'e doing - then you have yourself a standard-issue case of overdoing to work on. If your two sides can be more or less similar (even if that means negative feelings), then you have something to work with. And let me repeat for the nth time: once the two sides are integrated, you need to work quite consciously to drop the habit of stressing the right. It's harder than it sounds. At first, you'll go back to favoring the left, probably. Integration is everything.

Finally, remember that the pain is too much bliss; too much aliveness. When you tone it down, you'll see that. It's too much of a good thing, which is something that can be adjusted (you likely still need to ground more and scale back more, though). You don't want half your body numb and sluggish while the other side sizzles! If you can get symmetrical, your work will be much simpler (even if it means sizzling up the other side for a while). Just cool off and ground.  I'd imagine one reason you're still apparently doing too much is because the asymmetry is complicating things for you, so you're not able to see the larger simplicity - the need to relax off the throttle.

[lalow33]

Hi Jim,

I was doing too much because I had the belief that I needed to meditate at least a certain amount of minutes to get the inner silence.  I realize how ridiculous this is.  DUH!  It's the most obvious thing in the world!  How did I miss it?!

I know this off topic wanted to thank you for the pointers.

[RSS]

Has anyone looked at Satyananda's kriyas ("Kundalini Tantra" and "Systematic Coarse in Kriya …")?

Almost all of his kriyas go up the front channel (to the Bindu) and down the back as apposed to the Lahiri lineages (and AYP) that go up and down the spine with no work at all on the front channel.  Perhaps this is Satyanandas way to clear out this channel prior to kundalini awaking.

[RSS]

One more thing. Here are some links to a few of Satyanandas kriyas that show this:

http://goldenagejourney.blogspot.com/2011/02/pawan-sanchalana-kriya-4.html

http://goldenagejourney.blogspot.com/2011/03/shabda-sanchalana-kriya-5.html

Here is the complete list of his 20 Kriyas:

http://goldenagejourney.blogspot.ca/2011/01/kundalini-kriyas.html

Thanks to Manoj for putting this on his Blog and creating the videos.

[Jim and His Karma]

Rss,

Yes.

My "finishing school" for this odyssey has indeed been to very gently, very cautiously, reverse the flow (inhale down to mulha, or even to the soles of my feet), no more than a couple breaths at a time, and not every day. You have to go really really slowly and delicately and quietly at this. No force AT ALL, just immense concentration and calm. And I believe it's important to wait until most of the blockage is gone (which means, in many cases, waiting years or even decades) before doing this. It's a fine sandpaper move, and I don't recommend it for people in the midst of grounding issues. I can see how it could be counter-productive.

If Satyananda and company have a well-developed regimen on this, I could imagine it being used earlier and more robustly, as part of that lineage/tradition and under supervision. But, working alone, not belonging to a tradition, AND sensing the scale of this "weaponry", my inner guru is very adamant about my taking it really really lightly.

There are things you encounter which you wish you'd found and used earlier. This is not one of those things. I think it's best that I'm using it late, after a really long time grinding away at the above-mentioned tactics.

[Jim and His Karma]

quote:Originally posted by lalow33

Hi Jim,

I was doing too much because I had the belief that I needed to meditate at least a certain amount of minutes to get the inner silence.  I realize how ridiculous this is.  DUH!  It's the most obvious thing in the world!  How did I miss it?!

lalow33, that's great. Don't underestimate how significant this is...and how perfect your reaction is!

You'll experience that same "how did I miss this?" feeling over and over as you continue. I experience it frequently, myself. At least, on good days!

I meditated (not AYP) for DECADES thinking my job was to "go deep" and still my mind. I'd peacefully let thoughts drift by until they faded, but, often, I'd receive a deep, jarring mental alert. "Oh, crap, I left the windows open!" or somesuch. And I assumed (again, for decades!) that I needed to redo the meditation...clear the mind, settle in, etc. I thought my meditation had been spoiled by the thought; that I'd been brought back up out of the depths. Finally I realized that, of course, the only disruption was in my letting certain thoughts disrupt. The problem wasn't the thought, it was my reaction. And this was a total "duh", because I'd spent all those years learning to let thoughts sail by; I just didn't realize this meant ALL thoughts, bar none. I didn't understand just how wide a category "thought" was (indeed, over and over, my yoga journey has been about "geez, I didn't understand just how widely that applied!").

There is an epidemic of spiritual practitioners who believe they're  crackerjack at this spirtual stuff. They know what they're doing. They're on the right track, and, really, it's just a matter of further polishing and refining their very capable spirtuality. They tend to get combative at the suggestion that they're deluded about anything. They need to feel "right". Their expectations, alas, are rock solid, and their assumptions (oh, but very SPIRITUAL assumptions!) are unshakable. It's a huge, huge hindrance. If you're not deeply resigned to your essential idiocy, this sure isn't the path for you!

Every glorious opening I've experienced in yoga brought with it a sharp acknowledge of what an idiot I'd previously been. In the beginning, this fueled my smugness, because I assumed that as my pockets of idiocy were revealed, I was becoming more and more "perfected". But, no, I keep finding more and more ways my perspective is stuck and narrowed and self-serving, and that insights which should stretch to Andromeda hardly make it past my own chin. So...I no longer feel like I'm an inch from some supposed finish line, requiring just a smidge more polish and refinement. I EXPECT my expectations and assumptions to be laughably off. And that expectation is super helpful for yoga.

We're all complete idiots, and yoga is the process that shows us this. So if you're not able to accept your own idiocy - even thirst for revelation of your own idiocy - then this is all really just a jerk-off. So this is long-winded congratulations! Cherish the realization of your own delusion and thickness! There's lots more of that to come! So go easy on expectations and self-direction (let go, let mantra!).

And, most of all, don't fall into the trap of thinking that these "aha!" flashes are forging some new, better, wiser you. There's a lot of mythology about yogic perfection (which has its roots in icky Brahmin classism, but that's another story). Here's an insight that's very seldom stated and almost completely missed by nearly everyone: you are deluded thickness through and through. There's no inner gem to polish. Everything that's specifically you is nothing more than fuzzy-headed clenching. That's what you are. That's who you are. Your body and mind are just a cheap, dull contraction (the good stuff never seems to come from you, right? Epiphany, inspiration, eurekas all seem to come from "out of nowhere"). Remove the fuzzy-headed clenching, and literally nothing remains. So the only thing to do is to let go, falling backwards into the vast What Is. Trust that you'll float. It's ok!

I realize I will offend some readers by my statement that "you are deluded thickness through and through".  I get into trouble with that sort of statement here because folks want to feel smart and spiritually capable. Not me. I do yoga 'cuz I know for a fact that I'm a deluded idiot. And I get the feeling that you, like me, are inclined to welcome and cherish revelation of that same essential fact.

Most people do yoga to feel smart. A few do it to feel stupid. Welcome to the stupid pool!