Suddenly I began to percieve the way it really was, this ouroboros, this slowly morphing but overall steadily existent reality, it exists merely because from one place to another i have gone back and forth, and the cycle is all things, there is yoga within in, and bhakti, and so this serendipity springs from the Yomo's serendipity, though lax it is in terms of adventure, and the fiery passion of fuller living, it is still invested with the exact same qualities, and struggles, albeit on a lower fractal living, and animated with the incongruencies which give character and individuality. Cybele has also been of aid, and is there in the mushrooms which sprout from the severed trunk of an old tree. I realized, through the videos, its all just a matter of telling them about yourself, and then it flows through exactly what it is, if it at the end has some 'normal' origin, is unknown and variable, because though in my blindness I wandered for long within definite limits, of my own placing to seem degree, at a certain point I realized the full extent of the dharma and became free from that small circle and entered into a new phase of being, which a wholer perspective.
It was me, and me alone they came to in particular, because of the tao, because of things I do not know the full truth of, from before I was born, to circumstances of my birth, and through divination and foolishness, this was cast from me, under the rain of these labels transgendered, Priestess of Wanti, Schizophrenic, Fairy which ultimately had been born of the intention of helping but became a den for misunderstanding and chaos, though spontaneously, a true virtue and intimation of the way things really are comes to me, and I am happy.
I am a writer, one who writes and speaks, and love is my charge, I wrote long ago of many things, ecstatic poetry, where you begin to read the book and give yourself up to the forces in the words but something altogether miraculous strikes you suddenly, the way itself.
The wise, when reading, do not merely contemplate the words, but the whole, as one who finds words to be a perch, and symbols, modes of focus which come clear and slip away into the divine.
I have lost much of the previous inspiration, and perhaps from simply limiting myself, and accepting stagnation, but it gets confusing, the realm in which i've settled in every direction, appear strange things, needing much recording, but this doesn't really happen, all in all, its a bit like unconsciously wandering, nothing can be done with absolute certainty of what is to come of it, nor can we really know if what is good is good and what is bad is bad, in any real sense, because they are only words and notions, and they are alive of their own accord, and perhaps it is truly the spirits, who live and the pessimism, which begins to work away and fracture ones being, but I know that Goddess is whole, miraculous and true to life, and she lives in every being and inspires the world, perhaps this places me away, from what is inside myself, but its all in the matter of how it is expressed, what the groove is, because everything is dancing, and the ecstatic and far arcing pathways, even in silence and empty space, may themselves be alive and guiding us to the realm of divine magic which is everything, this all happens selflessly, and is made of the stuff of dream, and the amount of knowledge we have of the past is destroyed, and obscured beyond reason, accepting a mere moment, everything comes of it, and returns, symbolically and devoid of symbols, because symbols are in fact the liberation from the symbolic anchoring, to numbers which has destroyed so much, without the conception of numbers, and the first spiritual division which comes with the divine, we remain yolked and in true cognizance of ourselves, my the dream is handled in strange ways, as we observe in our own handling of natures, because it is the plants which are the physical manifestation of the dream, between the realms, the plants are the shamans, and we are also them, even beyond, fashioning their dreams and comprising the other world, residing over the transformation, after having transformed much ourselves, but there is no definite aesthetic it simple happens, and the mystery reveals itself greater and greater, from all directions they come, and relating qualities and vibrations which are simply the mind becoming aware of reality, which is every possible experience, even total nothingness, is reality, and dreams, all of this, goes with the movement of consciousness, towards the energetic flow which brings about life.
The ego and the dream, the meditation and the koan where still recognizing the world, and seeing all as equal, one makes movement in every direction both inward and outward, because it is truly the same, and truly equal and no more delusion has of balanced this, thus, a revival occurs, and the connection becomes stronger, the connections which is really just an acknowledgement of the eternal, and a freedom, and unbound reasoning, because one finds, in releasing hang ups, this is the only work, as hang ups are released, the impossible becomes possible, and the truth can be expressed, and the truth after all is the meaning of life, the end shall be as the beginning but the truth is what it is.
I strive to rely on myself, and to vibe with all the energies around me in my own way, often times giving way to that which seems to come from beyond. I think this is okay, I think its interesting and often nearly find its own destruction, in the love dance, because it cannot be expressed, and how close love is to death, love acceptance, freedom, progress, growing, it happens, but its strange, it seems I am in an ouroboros and all I can do is wait, this is my understanding of the tao, sooner or later the energy will work itself up, but what I can do ultimately, from the perspective of an individual ego, being, through physical actions and thought, is limited, because of my conception of the universe which is pure love, and joy, Because of the shrines residing in every blade of grass and even on the air we breathe, because of the great adventures occuring in hidden languages everywhere at all times, because of the ultimately blissful permeation of the dharma of love, all inclusive, confirming the true health and amazingness of all things, in oneness, and one form, named through not naming, and so invoking all levels of nature together at once, through divination, and the charm of us who live on this planet, and throughout galaxy and universe, awareness, existers, all at one with something, and in reference to one common thing.
Perhaps it is that this is the realm of miracle, emerging from the tao, which exists through its non duality, which is being itself born and will become the world at large, but speak of the world is ultimately not much.
Ultimately the words have their own value, beyond their actual message, and the message has its own value, beyond the actual essence of truth, and it simply becomes pointless action, it happens everywhere, unconscious actions, being interpreted, how do we know, where they end and when begin? are they the beginnings of the next dimension where congruency ends and gives birth to yin and yang, that beloved pair which is oddly at home everywhere, all places at once, and one. So it is the emergence and life of these objects which pour forth with the inspiration and the past present future of existence and ring with the fertility and original mystical existence which we all are a part of and no knowledge is required to, it is the innate existence which knowledge is the absence of and the student of, and therefore also indistinguishable from, so it reaches a point where, no matter how real it is, there is a certain amount of ecstatic chance within the writing and expression of so many variables, why do we chose what we do to bring forth? and why our methods of making it better and such things like that? these techniques themselves, are the inspiration and the original yogas, which create existence and are from primal energetic awakenings happening before even awareness, before even manifestation, and as we begin to dwell in such places, in a true sense, and know our true selves, lose self and become continous with the vast universal ever changing self, we truly abide in alaya consciousness and have the blessing of compassionate truth and infinity.
we realize all things are infinite, infinity which is nature itself, and not fixed to anything thus occuring everywhere