Painful around family

[awaevo]

I find that I only have a small desire for being social.  Like two hours a day and I'm ready to go back into the woods lol.  I also have a slight negative feeling about going around my father.  Not because I don’t love him.  But because he is in a “not so bright place”.  I do not yet have enough presence to keep my “light” “no-mind” feeling around him.  He is very religious ( a Jehovah's Witness) and will not listen to any verbal advice. So I feel like going around him is not helping either of us.  I find myself feeling guilty about this often.  And avoiding his house altogether.

It seems like I feel EVERYTHING around people who are in Pain. Their energy feels very thick and heavy.  Especially people i'm close to.  They are talking constantly about their pain and I feel I can do nothing to help them.  I don’t just want to become a hermit, but that’s definitely what I feel like doing.  

Does anyone else gone through this?  Any sharing would be truly appreciated

Much love

[CarsonZi]

Hi awaevo

Yes, I have gone through this... my family is 'fundamentalist" Christian and we used to battle over the differences in spiritual perspective between us.  And they are heavy into enjoying their suffering as well, so I can also relate in that aspect.

What has worked to repair our differences here has been to:
1.) place religion/spirituality/yoga on the "do not discuss" list
2.) for me to let go of trying to "save" them, and
3.) me realizing that what works for one is not always what will work for another and allowing them to walk their path at their leisure.

Hope this helps!

Love!

[sagebrush]

awaevo-

since you are specific in stating that sharing is appreciated, I will share.

although in this moment NOW there appears to be no familial tension, I will say that their typically is on a daily basis. I think I have outsmarted the arguments, because instead of adding fuel to the fire- I usually just go somewhere else in the house. I can now see that I would prefer to avoid yelling and vicious verbal attacks, leaving thru my mouth. This is not always easy to do, but I noticed that I am embarassed more that I don't really have developed skills for solving issues, communicating, getting a real solution. I always use my son as an argument buffer, because it is embarassing losing it in front of him and it is not healthy for kids to be around such volitility. or adults for that matter

I like to just say that Obama gave a decent speech to the public in Tuscon, which I liked. I liked that he said "use your words for healing not wounding."

I avoid my dads house to, and I am not going into that in this moment. I will just have to make choices along the way as they show up on hoe to deal with all of it.

the thing is with carson list for me personally is that I feel that I am accepting of other people. It is me that has to hide who I am, because it is not basically acceptable.anything and everything. I can handle that too. no one has to accept me or my thinking.

I don't think these things/this topics have easy solution, but I just try to notice inside me what I am thinking, feeling and how I want to respond, or not.


That is all for now.
enjoy the weekend

[CarsonZi]

Hi sage

I went through a period with my family where I was constantly being attacked and they were all trying to "convert" me....this is when I had to lay down the law so to speak and say that no more religious discussions were allowed with me.....and that if they insisted on trying to bring up religious topics of conversation with me, that I would no longer be able to be around them as I felt it was detrimental to any possible long term relationship.  This worked.  Mainly because my wife and I had just had a child and my family wanted to be a part of her life.  Essentially I ended up having to use Amrita (my daughter) as a bargaining chip.... if they wanted to be a part of her life, then they had to stop trying to convert me (back) to Christianity.  Things have been much more amicable all the way around for everyone since then.

Love!

[awaevo]

thanx u guys

I shall continue to work on letting go.  

I hope all continues to get more and more joyus & more peaceful for you...inside and out