Help me please!!! I'm worried! Help!

[CannabisSativa]

This is very hard to explain, yesterday was thanksgiving, and I was with my family eating turkey. Well my cousin gave me a bowl of marijuana, I mentioned here that I haven't used it for months and never tried it since I started doing kundaini.

So I said, "Why not? I should try it and meditate". So did I and I heard warnings on not to mess with chakras and kundalini while using any type of mind-altering substance. This is what happened:

I started doing spinal breathing, for about 15-20 minutes I think. I felt my energy pretty damn strong so I decided to stop and do deep meditation to have inner silence. Now here is the part I don't understand, it felt like maybe it was Samadhi or something.

Suddenly my thoughts just stopped existing and I started to go into this deep trance, I can't explain it. It felt like my body was synchronizing to a rhythm, my torso started swaying left to right, or rocking slowly and very minimal. Then all of a sudden I started getting a vision of the snake, the coiled one with wings that is shown as the symbol and started seeing Lord Krishna or some deity.

Then my body got insanely hot and was orgasmic all over, my crown couldn't stop, I tried to stop it because it worries me, I don't know what would happen if I let go.

So it felt intense and my heart rate started going up really fast, my hands were getting orgasms. I tried to calm myself but even with the deep meditation I couldn't stop it fast so I got up and walked around the house, my muscle felt like they had tension and I had to move a lot, looked like a crackhead basically. It started creeping up again when I tried to sleep. Help me what should I do?

Oh and by the way, my spine felt hot afterwards on the back from my heart to my neck.

Now I'm sober but I still feel the sensation trying to come up through my spine, please help, you guys have been helpful. Should I let myself go? Ground myself?

Thanks I hope someone could help me I'm really worried.

[JDH]

Feels kinda good and scary at the same time?

You will be fine.  I had some intense experiences with marijuana and kundalini early on.  And even without marijuana, kundalini experiences are still intense from time to time.  If you just don't smoke again, things should gradually calm down on their own.  Otherwise, you can do some of the common grounding techniques such as physical exercise, eating heavier foods, etc.  I call them high energy experiences, and they happen from time to time with yoga.  I've found that when I "let go" as you say, that the energy will peak, and pass in a cathartic overflow.  I definitely feel better after the times that I've let go and gone with the flow, as compared with the times when I've resisted it.  But also be mindful of the difference between going with the flow when this naturally happens, as compared with seeking out high energy experiences and "forcing them."

Anyway, what to do?  Take plenty of time to rest in the coming days, and self-pace the practices until you feel more stable.  And don't worry too much!

[CannabisSativa]

Thanks a lot for replying. It's hard not to worry, I felt like if I was gonna become possesed. As if this force was telling me something, it felt a little dominating, or threatening. I mean, it felt incredible, no pain at all or any bad thing in it, just my fear I guess but I don't know.

Also, I wasn't really that high or anything. I was buzzed, but I won't do this again. I still feel it inside of my neck, like it got stuck and my crown keeps pulsating.

Is that feeling Samadhi or is Samadhi something more beyond? Could anyone describe it?

If anyone can add anything I would appreciate it. Thanks a lot.

[bewell]

Have you ever been so immersed in a movie that you forgot you were in a theater?  At some point you shift and realize "I am in a theater watching a movie."  With that shift, instead of being caught up in the movie, the movie is more distant, more like scenery.

Same way with intense body/mind experiences.  If you can shift into witness consciousness, watching from a non-anxious place, then whatever is happening becomes less dominating and threatening.  It is scenery on the journey.

You know what I am saying?

[JDH]

CS,

When I got here, I was confused and fearful as well.  Here is a link to one of my first posts, in which Yogani wrote a short and simple reply to my fears.

http://www.aypsite.com/plus-forum/index.php?topic=7057

I hope it calms you as much as it calmed me.

[CannabisSativa]

Oh I get you bewell, I'll try that.

And thanks you JDH for helping me, it definitely was scary but it felt good at the same time. I feel better and now I am stabilized but wow, it was something. In a sense I kind of regret not letting go though, I have never experience powerful surges of energy and would really like to but I backed off.

[Chrisk]

perhaps you should try to take it slowly.  being a bit enthousiastic about it is good, but may not be beneficial for the overall practice.