Pregnancy, Pregnancy Hormones and Child Rearing

[Akasha]

Hi Shanti,

Love your Blog,& Enjoy reading your posts here.I guess with a blog
too,looks like i am now rather over-spoiled[]

 Re-birthing again, and again and again here.

Lots of Love,
Akasha[]

[CarsonZi]

Thank you everyone for all the Congratulations, Love and Advice.  It's truly a blessing and an honor to be here with you all.

/\\

@Yonatan


@Shanti
Wow....awesome blog start!  You have put to words EXACTLY what my "plan" for raising kids is....you know, the one that "hasn't had a chance to be tested yet"  I have bounced this idea off of a few people already (for example, my parents) and have recieved nothing but "That won't work....if we had done that with our kids they would be in jail by now" type of answers.  Personally, I think if my parents had done that with me, I would have been a LOT less angry my whole life.....they think I would be in jail.  Noone really knows though, it's all speculation.  I plan on parenting as much along these lines as is possible.  IMO Real Love is the purest motivator.

@Katrine
Thank you for such a wise, loving post.  The "Loving" vibe spilling from your posts always warms my heart in a beautiful way.

quote:Carson, if you keep this up...I mean...if you make this into a full time job.......you are going to be a wreck by the end of her pregnancy

Hahaha....perhaps....but what "seems" to be happening here is an extreme increase in energy along with the "Fatherly Love" thing.  I am sleeping (much) less, getting up much earlier to meditate and am going to work early to be home early so that I can cook dinner and such.  Up until about 2 or 3 months ago, I never cooked dinner.  I really really hate cooking.  In the past I have always gone out for food if I have had to cook for myself.  Now, I am making different meals every night, and actually looking forward to cooking!  My how quickly things can change!  Ever since we found out I have had this extreme change in attitude....not a conscious change, it just has happened.  I have gone from caring more about "myself" and my spiritual evolution, to caring only about "the family unit" as a whole.  I think that this is really pushing me to the "next level" of "self-less-ness".  I have always been "concerned" with trying to help the whole of humanity spiritually evolve, but this developement has brought that down to a more micro level in some way....perhaps that makes me selfish...perhaps that is just a thought.  But for whatever reason, I have become a different person....a more "caring for others" type of person....it's not all about "me" now.  Even though before I would have said the same thing....it's just that the perspective has shifted a little now.  can't really pinpoint how though.

(It's funny too....the shift started to happen before either of us knew we were pregnant....I was cooking dinner for at least 6 or 7 weeks before either of us even suspected....it's interesting how Life "times" things sometimes.....perfectly[])

Oh yeah, about the "running out of energy" thing....(I kinda got carried away above and didn't really say what I had set out to say)...it's funny....it seems that the more energy I expend in trying to be "of service" to my wife and unborn child, the more energy I have....it's almost the same as when I was working at the Drop In Center....I would go to work all day, come home, meditate, go to work at the Drop In Centre (which is a very "draining" place for most) and come home energized....I'm having basically the same thing happening here now....it's like Life gave me the Drop In Center job as a "warm up" for right now.  Again, funny how that works eh

About "needing to *do* stuff" for her....I definitely see what you are saying, and I hope I didn't come across as seeming like I "need" to be doing anything....I was more just asking if there is something I *should* be doing in order to help her deal with the hormones.  I don't like to see anyone (especially not my wife) cry, so when I can't "help" the mind goes wild and thinks it must be doing something "wrong"....I see this for what it is, I just like to cover all my bases[]

@sage

Yeah, prenatal vitamins are a must for sure....those were one of the first things we bought after the pregnancy test[] hahaha.  I have to remind her to take them mind you, but they are taken every day....I make sure of it[:p]

About the actual birthing process.....I don't want to talk about it[B)] Hahahaha....we'll cross that bridge when we get there.....All I can say right now is: "Thank God I am not a female!"[)]

@Machart
Thank you for the Congrats.....

quote:The great thing about having kids (mine are 24 and 20) is they make you feel (and act) like a kid again...

Hopefully my kids don't make me act any more like a child then I already do!  Kids raising kids  Hahaha....

@Miguel
Thanks Brother[]

@Parallax

quote:I've got 3 young ones of my own and they have been an amazing gift...my greatest teachers.

Yes I can hardly wait..... I am already learning from the "bump" ....It's amazing what and who you can learn from when you are open to everything.

quote:My advice during the pregnancy is to basically do whatever she asks you to do, no questions asked, no matter how irrational it may seem...but also know that no matter how hard you try you won't be able to "solve" everything for her (hormones, mood swings) but doing what you can, understanding, giving her space when she needs it and most of all lots of LOVE and everything will be great...the whole process from beginning to end is a MIRACLE!!!!

Sounds like great advice, and a very similar approach to what I have been taking so far.  I haven't found any "solution" to the crying/bitchiness/outbursts, but I have found that not "contracting" over them seems to allow them to pass quickly.  Thank you for the sound advice Parallax.

quote:And if you think you feel joy now, just wait til you're holding that little soul in your arms!!!

Just thinking about it makes my heart want to split wide open[]

@Anthem11
Thank you[]

@Kirtanman

quote:Duck!

Are you saying to duck the punches or the flying baby? Kidding[]

So....I've been desperately reading your post looking for any kind of spelling grammatical error I can point out, and...nothing....jerk[)] Sooooo kidding.....but yes, thank you for pointing out my spelling/grammar errors..... hahahaha.  I will be more conscientious from now on[] Uh....I mean, uh..... I was talking about sex, not crying....I meant to use "ball" and not "bawl"[)]

quote:(Giving) Love is always the answer; only an ego-idea could think otherwise.

Yes of course....the ego just thinks there should be more to do then there is....always making things more complicated then they need to be (or are).

quote:I'm sure she's supported you through various things -- maybe a time or two??

Hmmmm.....

quote:1. Let Go, Let God.

2. Give Love.

3. When In Doubt, See Guidelines #1 & #2 above.

4. Repeat.

That simple eh ....I think even *I* can do that

quote:it's also not a "one slip equals problems", either; it's more: lowest possible blood-levels of nicotine are best, zero is ideal.

Yes, I know, and I try to be tolerant to this....to a point.  The first week or so she was using the nicorette inhaler, but she isn't using that (to my knowledge) anymore even.....she doesn't seem to be too bad over it....I think the joy of impending parenthood is a strong motivator.  It was tough for the first little bit though.

Thank you for all the advice and support Kirtanman....your presence here is truly a blessing for me.

@Akasha

Thank you for the loving encouragement my friend....
Oh, and thanks for the virtual dinner[]

@Christiane
Thank you again for the congratulations.....
"A cocoon of Loving energy"....
I really like that....This is what I strive to be for her, the baby and humanity as a whole really.
Thank you for your Love and congratulations....may you be cocooned in Love[]


Thank you everyone for all the support and advice...I truly couldn't be luckier.

Love Always,
Carson[^]

[cosmic]

Congratulations to you and your wife, Carson! You have a lot of love and wisdom to share with the little one. Much love and many blessings to your family  

With Love
cosmic

[Katrine]

Hi Carson

 

quote:I have gone from caring more about "myself" and my spiritual evolution, to caring only about "the family unit" as a whole. I think that this is really pushing me to the "next level" of "self-less-ness". I have always been "concerned" with trying to help the whole of humanity spiritually evolve, but this developement has brought that down to a more micro level in some way....perhaps that makes me selfish...perhaps that is just a thought. But for whatever reason, I have become a different person....a more "caring for others" type of person....it's not all about "me" now.

That's great Carson

 

quote:Even though before I would have said the same thing....it's just that the perspective has shifted a little now. can't really pinpoint how though.

Well...what one says (thinks) and what one does......is not always the same, is it.....at least here it isn't

But life is such a wonder....all its problems and all its challenges included.....and...like you are... being intrumental in facilitating the awakening of humanity.....it is not really something one can do out of a mental strategy....... I have know idea at all how to do that...

Am in a fase of embroidering now *LOL*.....so...this reminds me...of that process.
When embroidering a mandala here... spontaneously....with nothing to go after...no pattern...no plan...only a theme (inspiration) in heart(from which the colours are chosen)......I start from the center of the white fabric . So you could say there is a selfishness in that. But this is where Self...the Creative principle.... is found too. And from the center.....the mandala grows of itself.....never knowing what it is going to turn into...only that it grows in freedom within the structure (the structure is as such helpful....without it....nothing could be contrasted).....and further inspiration happens in its own unfolding.

When it is finished....then the result has already happened....through every stitch...and every space.....manifesting more and more of the invisible potential.....that is always there from the beginning. Not all of it might be "pretty"....but that matters not....since it is the truth of what happened.

And then later.... "giving it away" in different ways will happen....into other creative circles....into other sharings......anything really...

So....your mandala is growing Carson
And this time with YOU in it.

In your baby too

One can only enjoy it as it already is

PS That's wonderful...the way you are taking care of your family

[CarsonZi]

Hey cosmic, thank you for the kind words and congrats[].  I hope I can be half as good a Father as some seem to think I will be[]


Hey Katrine[]

quote:Originally posted by Katrine

quote:Even though before I would have said the same thing....it's just that the perspective has shifted a little now. can't really pinpoint how though.

Well...what one says (thinks) and what one does......is not always the same, is it.....at least here it isn't

Hahaha.....yes, so true....  I have tried to focus on NOT focussing on myself, but I have found that energy is energy.....whether positively focused or negatively focused it doesn't matter....putting energy into something is putting energy into something.....there is no real differentiation between "positive energy" and "negative energy"....it's all just energy.  

I have (since I started AYP) made a habit of always dedicating my sadhana to "the benefit of all Beings", but that has really taken on a new meaning since finding out I will be a Dad.  It means much more now then it did before....it is not just words now...now it is actually "felt".

quote:Originally posted by Katrine

Am in a fase of embroidering now *LOL*.....so...this reminds me...of that process.
When embroidering a mandala here... spontaneously....with nothing to go after...no pattern...no plan...only a theme (inspiration) in heart(from which the colours are chosen)......I start from the center of the white fabric . So you could say there is a selfishness in that. But this is where Self...the Creative principle.... is found too. And from the center.....the mandala grows of itself.....never knowing what it is going to turn into...only that it grows in freedom within the structure (the structure is as such helpful....without it....nothing could be contrasted).....and further inspiration happens in its own unfolding.

Wow....great metaphor!  Life is truly like a blank "embroidering" canvas.....you never know exactly how it will turn out other then it will be perfect....with all it's flaws and all it's "uniqueness"...it will all be as it should be when all is said and done.  Beautiful, thank you.

quote:Originally posted by Katrine

When it is finished....then the result has already happened....through every stitch...and every space.....manifesting more and more of the invisible potential.....that is always there from the beginning. Not all of it might be "pretty"....but that matters not....since it is the truth of what happened.

Absolutely.

quote:Originally posted by Katrine

And then later.... "giving it away" in different ways will happen....into other creative circles....into other sharings......anything really...

Doesn't do anyone any good to hold onto it.

quote:Originally posted by Katrine

So....your mandala is growing Carson
And this time with YOU in it.

In your baby too

One can only enjoy it as it already is

PS That's wonderful...the way you are taking care of your family

Thank you for the kind and pertinent advice Katrine....you truly are a blessing for All.

Love,
Carson[^]

[Lacinato]

Wow, Shanti, I love the blog, too!