Sometimes I feel that my consciousness just sorta drops, to the level of hate or sarcasm or something of the sort, because with the people I'm dealing with, it's often all they understand. I don't really like thinking that way, but I know it's true at times. I can't speak of "transcendental consciousness" to someone that hasn't even heard of meditation... but anyway.
So today, for example, some girl walks by, she says "I don't worry about my desires", but in a dishonest, "I read something and have always had that wisdom of non attachment to desires" sort of way. The idea of enlightenment has been a bit popularised around my area... I'm not exactly sure how much I had to do with it, but many hold the belief that I believe I'm enlightened, or they believe I'm enlightened, or that I'm a Bodhisattva or some other "thing".
I dunno, maybe the latter is true (the bodhisattva one, not the thing... but really, we're all Bodhisattva's in our own way)... I'm not ignorant enough to keep that in mind though, it can too easily become spiritual ego, and it too easily creates "expectation" in other peoples hearts. I can't help someone that expects enlightenment from simply looking at me or hearing me speak or something. And that goes both ways... I can't be myself when someone is sitting there thinking I'm a perv or whatever, they're nervous... I'm nervous. The world of beliefs is just way too confusing.
Anyway, so this girl keeps on walking, and I half sarcastically say "oh how wise you are". That was my feeling in the moment... I usually trust my feelings, I've done much work in encorporating them, and my subconscious is all too in my face these days, so... as long as I'm honest with myself, and have a certain level of feeling awareness, I know what I'm doing is usually right for the moment. I really do believe that It's all about awareness, not so much of trying to rid "hate" or "anger" or sarcasm in this case... to me, they all have their places. When the attachment to desire is gone, what we do in the moment is usually aligned with our "higher self"... just don't make a belief out of that though haha.
I could hear her later, going on and on about what I said, and I let out a little chuckle... I mean, I knew I was right, she wasn't wrong or anything, just a little dishonest with herself, a little too stuck in ego. I felt I used ego to combat ego in a way... it's happened a few times lately. If the attachment is there, my subconscious always hits me over the head later on, but if I'm honest and live fully in the moment... I don't get any of that, and thus know that what I did was probably right in that moment.
I thought I'd share, and am eager to hear any of your opinions on the subject of "dropping down a few notches" to help others get that much closer to realizing their Self. I never think of this in the moment, it's never a "oh, she's in her ego at the moment, now I have to use my ego, use anger... or whatever", it's never like that, it's just me being honest with myself and holding up a bit of a "mirror" to their behaviors.
