yeah, I gotta admit, "nothing" has scared me ermm... itless. haha itless. Honestly though... there was a while when I was hearing that high pitched "eeee" metallic grindy in the crown cricket noise, and it just seemed like "oh man, I'm far from any form of enlightened lifestyle"... not that I think there's a particular enlightened lifestyle, but like... along with that eeeeee just came this intense desire for silence, nothingness, god, whatever you wanna call it. And that scared my ego itless... to a certain point, It's sorta like I dive in in everyday life to the best of my ability (who doesn't...) though I left meditation to the side for a little. Part of me really wanted to keep at it, but the other part was still strong, and that's ok, I know I have much deeper to go, but it's cool where I am, you know
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. Ughh, even now, I've only meditated like 2 days ago... (and for like 5 mins today while waiting for a friend) and my crown is kinda buzzing, can't say it's exactly pleasant... stuff like this, I'm sure some are ready to just plow through, but... this path ain't flowers and roses all the time haha, though it's cool to find a mostly flowery path
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The "breakthroughs" though, when you feel it's "now or never", just remember it's always now, "then" included... those "spiritual choices" if you wanna call em that, they never leave you, paths inside never really close off, they just kinda dwindle slowly as you set em aside, waiting for a moment to show themselves, or... to keep dwindling. Infinite potential... always remains haha
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. They say all it takes is one moment of full awareness. You might of missed it this time, but another is waiting around the corner... wait a minute, what'd I just miss? haha
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