Protection from others' negative energy

[Jack]

Hello,

There is a certain individual in my life in whose presence anger, fear, and anxiety arise a lot. When my mood is neutral or poor, the anxiety and resentment grow very strong, and I feel out of whack in the sacral and solar plexus chakras. When my mood is positive, there is still a sense of discomfort and tension in the abdomen, and a usual lowering of mood/energy.

Beyond establishing myself in the witness, and using the Sedona method on resentment and fear, are there any practices I can use to protect myself from getting vamped by this individual?

Thanks.

[Ananda]

send him some good vibes and pray for the guy and love him for the love of loving .

namaste

[emc]

Examine your own thoughts about this person. What do you think of him/her? Your own feelings only come from within and are based on your assumptions about the person. Thoughts create feelings.

Also remember, there is no such thing as "negative" or "positive" energy. It's just energy. The colouring comes from your mind.

Instead of protecting yourself - welcome whatever wants to visit you with the biggest smile on your face, cause what you see is actually only another flavour of yourself.

If you want to learn more, I strongly recommend reading Byron Katie's "Loving what is" and get to know her method "The work".

[Divineis]

hmm, really, stuff like this comes down to one of the nastiest "ego killing devices" to face (well it's not that bad really... it doesn't change anything, it's the way its always been)... being, the fact that it's a lonely lonely world. Pretend everyone you know, have ever known and will ever know has been, is and will always remain a complete stranger to you. Cuz really... in many ways, that's exactly how it is.

Like... I can picture being some poor kid from africa or something, almost dying of malnutrition... I know what it's like to be hungry, but not at that level. I can only put myself in their shoes to the extent that I know, and the rest is just human programming for "seeing the other in yourself, or yourself in the other". It's easy to make believe, but I reckon if I actually spent time down there, saw this kind of thing firsthand, and lived among these people, then it becomes a bit (emphasis on "a bit") more real. I can love them, do what I can to help but I still have no clue what it's really like to be that starving kid.  

No amount of thinking or making up scenarios or any of that ever changes the above. Ever.

What to do after knowing the above; going to the depths of your loneliness and seeing what in fact is there and fully coming to terms with that. It's never too scary (but just enough sometimes) and it helps grow compassion for this whole being human business.

the basic formula = see "it's never enough" in yourself, see how deep that goes and what's really behind that, feel compassion. And then see it in the other, share compassion.
sweet. it's like a guide for enlightenment in 2 lines, haha, i'm so awesome.

[Manipura]

Hi Jack and everyone - just thought I'd add a few cents here.  While I agree that the "loving what is" approach is a great exercise, I also can relate to Jack's observance that there are some people whose presence brings with them a hurricane of negative energy, and who can cause a signficant lowering of mood.  I've witnessed this on several occasions, and it's not a subtle thing, particularly if your heart is open at the time of meeting.  By taking the "loving what is" approach during those times, I think that you could actually open yourself up to even more of the negativity, as you're basically just throwing the door to your heart wide open and inviting it all in...an invitation to huge discomfort, and then you're stuck with the difficult task of undoing.

I don't have an easy solution, other than the obvious suggestion to avoid this person.  Once you recognize the pattern of negativity and depression that's brought on by a particular individual, simply avoid contact with them.  But if on occasion you can't help the contact, you might try the following.  It sounds a little silly I guess, but someone highly recommended it to me, and it seems to work, even if only by the power of suggestion:

When you're in this person's presence, keep something in front of your heart center.  A book, a shopping bag, your purse, an arm, your fist - something to block the energy from directly hitting your heart opening.  Keep your mind focused on the fact that you've created a block which cannot be penetrated by this person's juju.

That's it!  I'd love some feedback on this if it works for you.

[Yogajan]

Dear Jack,
Your post reminds me of a period I had last year when i was very sensitive to others' energy.  I think my third chakra was opening.  I would get really activated by any perceived negativity.  I had a dream during that time that one of the people that I felt this way with was "pulling my guts out."  I was telling a third party that I didn't want my guts pulled out, that they are MY guts.  This third party told me that whatever I do, don't close my heart.  I learned alot over this period in terms of self-care with people, about not allowing others to draw energy, power, from me in any under the table sort of way.  It was a period of developing personal integrity, being truthful with myself and others.  I asked myself alot what was going on within me with these people and I didn't stay away from them but didn't spend large amounts of time with them either.  I asked myself if there was anything I needed to say or any boundaries to set.  Thanks for sharing and would love to hear how the process goes.
Blessings,
Jan

[Divineis]

Meg, someone once told me some beautiful words about the heart. The heart cannot be hurt, it's all love. I mean, there's a pain there, but it's always been of the "uniting" kind for me. Really, I find when I open my heart to people that anger me, and have compassion, knowing i've been where they are in some way or another (just plain "it's not enough" feelings, they're all the same really) it seems to "heal" things in a way.  

Energy stealing is more in the plexus area I reckon. I often find myself covering it when feeling a bit anxious or whatever, it's not really something I think about, but I've definetly noticed it. Just crossing your arms over your plexus area can give a bit more comfort, I don't really believe the heart needs any covering or protection though, love is all encompassing, all inclusif (I know it goes against the "I'm heart broken" sort of society programming, but... I'll say it again haha, there's no such thing. It's just "i'm not enough"(sacral) or "I gave my power away"(plexus) or such things, really all "stuckness" is the same, all of it. Knowing that is when "nothing" comes a knocking and "heart energy" is located everywhere, not just the heart)

(I don't mean to go against your post or anything, they're just my personal observations).

[Divineis]

I definetly agree that some people are just plain not fun to be around though. Unconditional love from a distance I've heard it called before haha. It's a little tough not to make something out of love I guess, but it's always just "bring your awareness to "stuckness" and see the space around it, and allow nothing to do it's thang" haha.

[Manipura]

quote:Originally posted by Divineis

I definetly agree that some people are just plain not fun to be around though. Unconditional love from a distance I've heard it called before haha. It's a little tough not to make something out of love I guess, but it's always just "bring your awareness to "stuckness" and see the space around it, and allow nothing to do it's thang" haha.

I appreciate your posts, and I get what you mean.  I'm not talking about irritating or 'unfun' people, tho.  I'm talking about seriously disturbed folks, or, in one of the cases I was thinking of, a paranoid schizophrenic.  She's a dear friend, but as the years passed and she went off her meds, she spiraled downward into a dark vortex which brought her into places of near madness.  She imagined things that would make your hair curl, and I was exposed to much of it until I had to ask her to stop sharing her paranoias with me.  But what do you do when a close friend goes down this path?  'Love what is'?  I ask that question with sincerity.  I have great respect for Katie's work, but in some cases, like a hurricane of negativity-bordering-on-insanity, doesn't self-preservation trump opening one's heart to what is?  See what I mean?  I remember that on several occasions I'd sit down with her and open my heart to her growing hysteria with the intention of bringing calming light to it, and each time the same thing happened:  I got zapped with her dark energy.  Her darkness flooded my heart, and lemme tell you, it was a dark & terrifying experience to enter her world.  Had I been more spiritually advanced I prob. would've been able to deflect it, or at least anticipate it, but it's not something I'd ever want to play around with to find out if I'm now strong enough to go there; I simply assume that I'm not.

I don't know if Jack's initial post was referring to this kind of extreme case, but he hints at the person being more than a slight irritation.

Btw, I'm about to have a 3-day visit from the person I've described above!    Wish me luck.  Thing is I love her like a sister, but have to protect myself from the negativity & darkness.  Is there a contradiction here?  Love with borders?  Love, but with a shield around the heart?

[Manipura]

And another thing...

Hopefully this isn't going too far afield from Jack's original post, but isn't NOT accepting what is the very thing that brings about positive change?  Somehow 'accepting what is' feels like inertia to me, in some scenarios, at least.

[emc]

Just remember, that "accepting what is" doesn't bring passivity! Accepting opens the door to stillness IN ACTION! We will know much clearer what to do when we accept and love what is. Perhaps the action will be to bring the person to the psychiatric hospital to receive medication if that is most appropriate? Who knows?

When it comes to fears, though, I know that it's the fear of the fear that is the problem, never the issue itself. It can always be solved somehow. But our fear of meeting something scary can build up enormous tension. Thoughts start making models of what it is and spins, bringing more fear in a spiral... Accepting what is brings an end to that spiral of fears of getting afraid. And then the situation is what it is and can be handled. At least that's my experience. (And I work daily with black holes of traumas, collective pain thunderstorms and deamons having a blast with our crown chakras! Just kidding... but I deal quite a lot with heavily disturbed minds.)

[Divineis]

haha yeah... acceptance, it's a tricky thing. Indeed, it comes down to acceptance of non acceptance sometimes too. Honestly though, Meg, I've known just what your friends going through. I heard freaking satan in my head the other day haha (he speaks latin... just to let you know haha, as you can see, this stuff can't touch my Self, good thing I relate with that a little more than little self). There's a thing with being schizzo(I'm not officially schizzo, and it's pretty much gone, but if I go by the definition that "you're shcizzo if you hear people conversing in your head"... than I guess i'm schizzo, i've never been huge on definitions though)... honestly for me it came down to "how much do I love my drama\\story". It's a good motivator for silence haha. I know just what you mean though, I was in a forum for "people that hear voices" and I kid you not, most of the people there wanted their voices, they won't directly admit it... but people don't believe you that when you can drop your story and just "go inside" that that sort of thing tends to exhaust itself. There's no instant cure of course, and there's definetly no convincing some people, and sometimes it just takes a "love em anyway" attitude I guess. I'll straight up tell some people that they're a downer to be around, and it's because I love em, it's because I know that they know that there's so much more to life than one drama after another after another, but there's no changing some people... ughh, some even want a piece of my drama.

What it came down for me though is... do I avoid it, resist it, or... just enjoy the moment and allow that nasty programming to exhaust itself. It's sorta like "I hear voices, but... I never stopped listening". My situations a little weird, a lot of the things came from things I actually heard, so I sorta felt I owe it to these people to listen, and then came a point when I've just heard enough... not that I stopped listening, but... you can only give your power away so much until you feel your stuck in a deep dark pit, and sometimes that's what it takes, for some it takes hitting rock bottom before working your way back up. And it's ok, you know what I mean? It's another side of life, it's not a pretty one, but I'm after the "all inclusif" sort of enlightenment, whatever comes up, I do my best to go into it, even if it's satan chanting some freaky curse or something in latin. He wasn't that scary to listen to really... haha.

[Divineis]

... after all that being said. I have absolutly no advice to give you for your friend. I leave you with... nothing. I don't know her story, don't wanna know her story, don't care for her story... maybe tell her that, that might help. Tell her some schizzo dude on a forum that believe in love and all that good stuff, doesn't care for her story, and that until she can give hers up, she's gonna be stuck in her mind over and over and over again.

I know they say schizophrenia is often chemical imbalances and such, in which case... she should be taking meds, but in a big part, it's exactly the above, it's that you love your bullsh*t way too much. That you think there's some way to make sense out of like you said, something you just plain don't need to accept. When you're delusional, there's no making sense of illusion, you just let it exhaust itself, you give up your story. I don't care for hers haha, only cuz I love her .

[Manipura]

quote:Originally posted by emc

At least that's my experience. (And I work daily with black holes of traumas, collective pain thunderstorms and deamons having a blast with our crown chakras! Just kidding... but I deal quite a lot with heavily disturbed minds.)

Maybe the key is experience.  Like everything else in life, the more you practice it or are exposed to it, the better and more relaxed you become.  The vast majority of people that I communicate with are pretty cool and even-tempered, like me.    So when I come into contact with negative, harsh people, it's a bit of a shock, and my heart center feels the impact.  I'm not sure that I want to start befriending irritating people to acclimate myself to their energy, but may be able to find a different way of dealing with it.  I'll have the chance to experiment real soon.

Thanks for your insights into "talkative" minds, Divineis.  Really interesting perspective from someone who knows the territory.

[Divineis]

No problemo, all in a days work. I don't mean to sound harsh though hehe, I'm like a really kind person in real life, I've just seen too many people WANT this sort of thing (even if they can't admit it, ughh), and I guess my "tough love" part of me gets activated when thinking about it. If I were you, I'd teach her some simple mindfulness exercises, no need to call it meditation, it can be pretty scary "going inside" when this sort of thing is going on, inside is generally something most people want to avoid... they'll have to face it eventually, but... I dunno, I've yet to convince one voice hearer to go inside, so outside... is fine, with a bit of exercises to help you focus on "the moment" n such. Grounding thoughts and such, like doing things for me. haha, I lied when I said "I have no advice", well not really... for dealing with illusion, it comes to nothing, for everything else, it comes to a little something here a little something there that reminds you of what it's all about .

I don't mean to speech you on how to deal with this. Let's just say this is a problem I've got close to heart. I had to leave a full forum of people I couldn't help, and I guess I felt this is my "last chance" in a way.

... no pressure   haha