Antidepressant, meditation, amaroli

[gentlep]

I am in sort of a depression because of life situation. My two daughters, 3 and 1 year old have some unknown neurological condition where they are slowly losing their ability. My elder one is completely stiff and can't move and is being fed through a nasal tube. My younger one is heading towards that. There is no diagnosis and so the stress of their care and at the same time family tensions makes it hard to function.

I haven't been meditating regularly since beginning of the year as I have too much mental chatter during meditation which causes depression soon after. I found amaroli to be helpful, washing the face and drinking when I am too disturbed.

What do people think about antidepressants. Does anyone have any experience with it or maybe it's too personal question? How does antidepressants interfere with amaroli and meditation?

[Nirodha]

Hi gentlep,

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time.

As for antidepressants: I've been taking one (Citalopram) for years now, because I was diagnosed with Major Depression (reoccurrant) about 15 years ago. And, I had more than 3 episodes of it within 6 months. Therefore I was advised to stay on medication, for life, so as to prevent further episodes.

I don't find that Citalopram interferes with my meditation at all. I achieve Samadhi with ease and dwell in it at least 3 times per day; so there's definitely no interference going on. However, I'm taking the lowest dosage (20 mg) just as a preventative.

Kind regards

[Scott]

I am truly sorry about your daughters!

[david_obsidian]

So sorry to hear about your troubles, gentlep.  Their magnitude is stunning.

I have used SSRI's before: (these include Zoloft, Paxil, and Prozac), and they never interfered with my meditation to any extent.

[scottfitzgerald]

Wow, it never ceases to amaze me the challenges we can be given in this life.  My prayers go out to you as well.

As far as antidepressants, never been an issue getting in the way for me.  I think I'm a lifer with them as well.

Big love

s

[gumpi]

If anything, i should thing that anti-depressants HELP your meditation.  Can you even imagine what kind of hell it would be like to try to meditate when you were depressed?  It's a no brainer to me.

Just in case you are ambivalent about taking them, remember that aside from possible side-effects (which pass anyway) it is perfectly safe to continue to take them your whole life, if need be.  It is recommended by psychology and psychiatry.

[LittleTurtle]

Very sorry to hear of this situation. Nothing is worse than when something happens to one's children.
I had moderate depression about three different times during my life (years apart). The first two times I worked out the situations myself and felt stronger after. This last time was about four years ago when my then twenty year old son was diagnosed with a very serious illness. I was very depressed but I still had to function well enough to take care of myself and my son and hold down a stressful job. So for the first time I took an antidepressant (Lexapro) for about two months until I felt things were stable enough that I could come off it. Lexapro is one of the newer SSRIs and contrary to what the literature and most docs say it acts rather quickly, sometimes within just a couple of days, that really helped.
I'm glad I took the antidepressant during that time. I still meditated. It didn't interfere with any of that. The only thing that bugged me was I gained a few pounds. I can't address the amaroli part. You could read the medical info regarding how the a specific drug is metabolized and that might give you an idea if amaroli would be ok.
If I may suggest, it seems to me that your priority is not specifically meditation and amaroli, but what actions to take that will be the most stabilizing and supportive of your very demanding task of caring for sick children, caring for yourself, and maintaining your household and environment. Perhaps your first priority would be to do whatever helps you to do all these overwhelming tasks. Of course I'm stating what you already know.
In my case at the time, the best choice was to take the antidepressant. It was a quick decision for me even though I usually avoid all medications.
Good luck to you and prayers for your children, please take good care of yourself.

[Note: It's very very important to taper off most antidepressants when choosing to stop taking them.]

[brushjw]

gentlep, blessings, love and support to you in your time of need.

What you are feeling is perfectly normal and healthy.  Depression is a natural part of the grief cycle.  Denial, anger etc. which lead to despair.  It is in the very giving up of hope that new concepts of reality can be formed.  Not allowing yourself to feel these emotions - short-circuiting the natural process - will delay the healing.  Over time, with enough denial, we can create our own personal hell.  I speak from experience.

quote:...it seems to me that your priority is not specifically meditation and amaroli, but what actions to take that will be the most stabilizing and supportive of your very demanding task of caring for sick children, caring for yourself, and maintaining your household and environment."

Wise advice.  Your situation is extraordinarily difficult and I suggest you get help from professionals.  Antidepressants are one of many options.  You may also find relief in sharing your struggles with a therapist, or join a support group.  Here is some more information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grief

In my experience antidepressants do not stop me from feeling strong emotions but rather serve as a base from which I can act to improve my physical, mental and spiritual health.  Without the medication I would fall below the base and not be able to get out of bed, perform my job, exercise, communicate with friends or, yes, meditate.

A couple of years after I began meditating I had to deal with some issues that left me unable to formally practice.  Meditaton became an ordeal.  I went back to what has served me from the beginning of my path - bringing my mind off my troubles and being fully present.  Over and over again, dozens of times a day, every day.  Only now, a year later, am I able to again sit in formal meditation.

Please remember that you're not in this alone.  Unconditional love is freely offered by the universe and is yours for the asking.  You've made a good start by posting here.

aum namaste,
Joe

[gentlep]

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences. It might to helpful for those not practicing amaroli to know that it helped me a lot in these trying time. I started it three months ago. At the same time I learned my younger daughter is affected with similar condition and my elder one was becoming more and more miserable. I felt heaviness on my chest every morning and it was very hard to have enough courage and get myself up from the bed in the morning. But after waking up, doing amaroli, kechari and some silence used to help me a lot. But lately the circumstances are testing my limits of tolerance I guess. As all western diagnosis  and treatment options failed, I sent them to India in the hope of alternate treatment. But unfortunately it worked against me so far. My elder daughter became seriously ill with pneumonia and was in ICU for almost a month. Now a days I panic when the phone rings for it might bring some bad news from india. Also it's very hard to get up in the morning. Hard to know that I am still alive to see another day. I thought with all my meditation practice I have achieved some inner peace to be able to cope of with life's challenges but the life has proven me wrong. I still feel like amaroli is helping me keep whatever little mental balance I still have. I often do it couple of times a day and it helps take some heaviness off of my chest and help me from panicking. So I want to continue that. I was averse to taking any medication but probably it's time I get some help.

[hopeless meditator]

I am very sorry to hear of your daughters' illness. Is there any way you could get a 2nd opinion as to the cause of their condition. Has genetic screening taken place? Perhaps if you could get a correct diagnosis, there may be some way forward.

I've been reading a book by a person from the Tamil Siddha tradition. He recommends amaroli, herbs and other natural medications. But I don't know where you would find a practitioner of this kind outside India.

[Sparkle]

Hi gentlep, my heart goes out to you in your difficult times.

Have you tried samyama?, it can be very helpful and can be applied to many things, including stressful situations.

[thibaud05]

quote:

I haven't been meditating regularly since beginning of the year as I have too much mental chatter during meditation which causes depression soon after. I found amaroli to be helpful, washing the face and drinking when I am too disturbed.

Hi gentlep,
I haven't meditated for many months because I too was plagued with
depression.  Are you male or female ? I happen to be male and what got me out of depression is a prostate stimulator device called "aneros".      
I've only used it a couple of times so far but it has already worked wonders, allowing me to release tension in the root and navel area, and helping me a great deal to get accustomed to the functionning of that lower region (perineum, anus and prostate).  My reasoning was that favoring the path towards non ejaculatory multiple orgasm would be something really effective to fight depression.      

[yogibear]

Peace be with you, gentlep.

[hopeless meditator]

gentlep, please could you state whether your children are losing sensory input, e.g. are they becoming gradually blind or deaf? Do you have any Centre of Excellence near you where they could be referred?

[VIL]

gentlep, my prayers go out to you and your family:

VIL