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Author Topic: Me and my girlfriendS  (Read 1932 times)

Giacomo

  • Posts: 78
Me and my girlfriendS
« on: July 12, 2012, 10:28:56 PM »
I have always been a womanizer.. I love(d) women.. They are so gentle, innocent-looking, attractive and 'clean'.. by now you understand I love women? lol..

The trouble is.. Years passed by.. It's a never ending cycle of suffering.. Not love for pure love itself, but love with attachments.. Most girls want a stable family-life (which I don't judge).

Now with more and more bhakti for spiritual evolvement and finding 'truth' and my new found practice of brahmacharya I found the urge to just 'quit' romantic relationships.. BUT

this time being.. I have 2 girlfriends.. And a third which is romantically in love with me..

I want to break those relationships up.. but I don't know how.. I don't want to hurt them.. They will be..

Can somebody suggest me about my situation? I know the easiest thing to do would just to tell the truth in a subtle, slow and emphatic manner.. Still they will be hurt..

What are your suggestions, thoughts, assumptions about this?


Shoot!

« Last Edit: July 12, 2012, 10:31:09 PM by Giacomo »
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Ananda

  • Posts: 3001
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Me and my girlfriendS
« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2012, 12:38:19 AM »
Just be honest fully with them and admit you've wronged them big time and that you're sorry for it... Apologize and move on with your life... Truth and honesty always bring peace of mind...

Love,
Ananda
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Giacomo

  • Posts: 78
Me and my girlfriendS
« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2012, 03:27:20 AM »
Thank You Ananda for your post! I'll keep you up to date about the progress :)
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Giacomo

  • Posts: 78
Me and my girlfriendS
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2012, 08:13:56 AM »
Ananda, I refer to you because you were so kind to give me some advice, I also adress all those who are reading this, and I thank you..

I am proud and glad to announce that I've quit one of my 2 romantic relationships.. She 'took' it very well.. It's as if an 'higher force' is helping me.. I feel blessed
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Ananda

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Me and my girlfriendS
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2012, 04:33:49 PM »
Good to hear my friend... Onwards... Best end all this mess as soon as u can.. If u want to be In a romantic relation just be with one person... It goes out without saying that it shoupdn't be anyone of the other 2 remaining girls also.. End this whole thing from distance but be fully honest and admit that you've acted like a .... By doing what u did but now you're working on setting yourself straight... Btw i used to be in ur place many years back... All i could say is that i wouldn't like it if my sister would've met someone like myself... The habbit of being a womaniser is like a drug i know the feeling but best just stop cold turkey for a while. All the best bro
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Namath

  • Posts: 350
Me and my girlfriendS
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2012, 06:06:44 PM »
quote:
Originally posted by Giacomo

I have always been a womanizer.. I love(d) women.. They are so gentle, innocent-looking, attractive and 'clean'.. by now you understand I love women? lol..

The trouble is.. Years passed by.. It's a never ending cycle of suffering.. Not love for pure love itself, but love with attachments.. Most girls want a stable family-life (which I don't judge).

Now with more and more bhakti for spiritual evolvement and finding 'truth' and my new found practice of brahmacharya I found the urge to just 'quit' romantic relationships.. BUT


this time being.. I have 2 girlfriends.. And a third which is romantically in love with me..

I want to break those relationships up.. but I don't know how.. I don't want to hurt them.. They will be..

Can somebody suggest me about my situation? I know the easiest thing to do would just to tell the truth in a subtle, slow and emphatic manner.. Still they will be hurt..

What are your suggestions, thoughts, assumptions about this?


Shoot!




Hello Dear Giacomo;

thank you for your sharing that openly.

Go ahead and be frank!Even if you are mistaken,women do appreciate honesty.but most of all,be frank with yourself first.What do you really want!

you brought to my memory,one colleague I flew with.Two of his girlfriends were on the same flight and met in the galley....Each one saying that he's her boyfriend and the other girl is stalking him.This is what he convinced each of them...It ended up very violently with hair pulling and punches,lol...It took Security to end this fight and both girls got sacked out from the company.
A week later,the same guy flew with me with his wife and kids.He looked an angel in front of his wife!He didn't look a girl in the eyes [:0]

It seems all guys play these mind-games at a certain stage in their lives,so please don't be judgmental on yourself. You might want to consider if you really want to take the title of a "......" among girls.Girls know these guys very well and they are the fun of their jokes when they meet up .

I don't feel it will be hard on the girls..After all,they are more interested in stable family-life as you said which you can't provide.Once you are totally frank about this,they will run away[:D]...if not,then it's their decision and no need to feel guilt about it after that!

All the best in your inner and outer endeavors.

Salam
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Giacomo

  • Posts: 78
Me and my girlfriendS
« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2012, 08:01:12 PM »
quote:
Originally posted by Ananda

Good to hear my friend... Onwards... Best end all this mess as soon as u can.. If u want to be In a romantic relation just be with one person... It goes out without saying that it shoupdn't be anyone of the other 2 remaining girls also.. End this whole thing from distance but be fully honest and admit that you've acted like a .... By doing what u did but now you're working on setting yourself straight... Btw i used to be in ur place many years back... All i could say is that i wouldn't like it if my sister would've met someone like myself... The habbit of being a womaniser is like a drug i know the feeling but best just stop cold turkey for a while. All the best bro


You are completely right. I should also say that I never 'consumed' with those girls, because it didn't feel right.. Still I -had- feelings for both of them, but not as deeply as they felt/feel for me. It's all illusion.. Worldly matters..

Now I value friendship with men/women so much more then I used to.. For me it's more important to have (female) friends then to be in a romantic relationship nowadays..
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Giacomo

  • Posts: 78
Me and my girlfriendS
« Reply #7 on: July 13, 2012, 08:05:28 PM »
quote:
Originally posted by Namath

quote:
Originally posted by Giacomo

I have always been a womanizer.. I love(d) women.. They are so gentle, innocent-looking, attractive and 'clean'.. by now you understand I love women? lol..

The trouble is.. Years passed by.. It's a never ending cycle of suffering.. Not love for pure love itself, but love with attachments.. Most girls want a stable family-life (which I don't judge).

Now with more and more bhakti for spiritual evolvement and finding 'truth' and my new found practice of brahmacharya I found the urge to just 'quit' romantic relationships.. BUT


this time being.. I have 2 girlfriends.. And a third which is romantically in love with me..

I want to break those relationships up.. but I don't know how.. I don't want to hurt them.. They will be..

Can somebody suggest me about my situation? I know the easiest thing to do would just to tell the truth in a subtle, slow and emphatic manner.. Still they will be hurt..

What are your suggestions, thoughts, assumptions about this?


Shoot!




Hello Dear Giacomo;

thank you for your sharing that openly.

Go ahead and be frank!Even if you are mistaken,women do appreciate honesty.but most of all,be frank with yourself first.What do you really want!

you brought to my memory,one colleague I flew with.Two of his girlfriends were on the same flight and met in the galley....Each one saying that he's her boyfriend and the other girl is stalking him.This is what he convinced each of them...It ended up very violently with hair pulling and punches,lol...It took Security to end this fight and both girls got sacked out from the company.
A week later,the same guy flew with me with his wife and kids.He looked an angel in front of his wife!He didn't look a girl in the eyes [:0]

It seems all guys play these mind-games at a certain stage in their lives,so please don't be judgmental on yourself. You might want to consider if you really want to take the title of a "......" among girls.Girls know these guys very well and they are the fun of their jokes when they meet up .

I don't feel it will be hard on the girls..After all,they are more interested in stable family-life as you said which you can't provide.Once you are totally frank about this,they will run away[:D]...if not,then it's their decision and no need to feel guilt about it after that!

All the best in your inner and outer endeavors.

Salam


loool, funny story... wouldn't want to be that guy.. [:D]

What do I really want? Freedom without attachement...

I am glad for your reply, I don't think I would re-engage in a romantic relationship afterwards. Meditation, introspection and life itself is so much more important to me.

I try to never judge anything nowadays.. Just like a bird [:D]

Thank you for your post and salaam! Loveeee lifeeeee

I'll keep you both posted about the progress. Thank you!
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Ananda

  • Posts: 3001
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Me and my girlfriendS
« Reply #8 on: July 13, 2012, 08:09:03 PM »
Dear, why re-engage in romantic relationships... If you find someone whom you really feel like she/he is the one... Go for out... A love like that is divine...

I wish you all the best on the path you choose...

Love,
Ananda
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Giacomo

  • Posts: 78
Me and my girlfriendS
« Reply #9 on: July 13, 2012, 08:26:51 PM »
quote:
Originally posted by Ananda

Dear, why re-engage in romantic relationships... If you find someone whom you really feel like she/he is the one... Go for out... A love like that is divine...

I wish you all the best on the path you choose...

Love,
Ananda


Thank you Ananda for your reply.. I already know who the One is.. I'll keep on trying untill we are together..
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Ananda

  • Posts: 3001
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Me and my girlfriendS
« Reply #10 on: July 13, 2012, 08:53:09 PM »
Allah[:)] I wish you all the best sincerely...
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Giacomo

  • Posts: 78
Me and my girlfriendS
« Reply #11 on: July 13, 2012, 09:32:31 PM »
quote:
Originally posted by Ananda

Allah[:)] I wish you all the best sincerely...


Thank you so much!
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karl

  • Posts: 1673
Me and my girlfriendS
« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2012, 01:05:34 AM »
It would end soon enough regardless of your agreement to end it.

The power of Bakhti is already at play, there is no control. You only aligned yourself with yourself. No changes were made, because none can be made.

It's a funny thing, but in time you realise that there is a 'way'. The way is leading, it's like a strong river that you are not aware of. You can fight against the river but it just exhausting and painful. If you cling to a rock the river will pull you away.  

One day you will see that you are the flowing river and the swimmer then you will cease to fight unless it's a fully conscious decision to play in your own current.
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Giacomo

  • Posts: 78
Me and my girlfriendS
« Reply #13 on: July 14, 2012, 02:59:11 AM »
quote:
Originally posted by karl

It would end soon enough regardless of your agreement to end it.

The power of Bakhti is already at play, there is no control. You only aligned yourself with yourself. No changes were made, because none can be made.

It's a funny thing, but in time you realise that there is a 'way'. The way is leading, it's like a strong river that you are not aware of. You can fight against the river but it just exhausting and painful. If you cling to a rock the river will pull you away.  

One day you will see that you are the flowing river and the swimmer then you will cease to fight unless it's a fully conscious decision to play in your own current.


Your post made me smile [:)] Thank you
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Yaming

  • Posts: 112
Me and my girlfriendS
« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2012, 08:05:37 AM »
I'm glad that you are on the right path for yourself.
However I disagree with Ananada ("If u want to be In a romantic relation just be with one person...") that is up for discussion. I know people who happily live in a 3 ppl relationship for years now. The whole monogamy thing is in my opinion totally overrated. Just find the life that you want and that you are happy with! That is my advice :)
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