Hello all[
]
Not really sure where exactly to begin on this one but i have some questions and would appreciate any input you guys may have. Just a quick history, ive been practicing for about a year and a half after a spontaneous K awakening, started out a bit too eager and stacked on a ton of practices and since then i have learned to self pace like mad or else the consequences have been pretty dire. Since about last August i have cut back severely, from 45 min sessions to a couple of minutes of SB, 6 or 7 mins DM and about ten mins rest. Samyama comes and goes, should prolly go for awhile but how i love it[
] Lately i have gotten to a point where i just cannot seem to stabilize for a very long period of time. Things just feel very different...before when i would overload i would get the body heat, rashes, extreme crankies, shaking and other things, this let me know when i needed to self pace...now my body feels great, light, ecstatic but not too much so, my appetite is way down from craving grounding foods,colors are like being on acid, visions/visuals up the wazoo...feeling very good. Lately though i have been experiencing the worst depression and 'dark thoughts'. this is new to me and im not sure what is causing it. The top of my head constantly feels cool and tingly, i used to experience uncomfy crown stuff like painful pin pricks, too much heat, tons of sucking and pulling and all that is gone now. besides my heart feeling a bit light, the breathing shallower, my body feels amazing. its just the mental stuff that is happening that is getting unsettling. when i lay down at night almost instantly it feels like im going out of my body, just relaxing and delicious, i dont favor it or try and encourage it just seems to happen a lot. i will wake up and these dark thoughts will be going full stream, sometimes my mind is just repeating 'failure failure failure' over and over, its insane. i feel like i am dying constantly, its really bizarre, just endings everywhere. on top of that i am feeling extreme empathy for..everything. cried like a baby watching kung fu panda 2 hah[
] Even when i am being incredibly active or out with family, my mind has been in this funk and im wondering how i should go about my practices to reduce this? right now i only do one session a day, my morning session, i use the third enhancement. maybe breath meditation would be better? backing off completely? i appreciate any advice, or tips from others who might have gone or are going through something similiar. Much love to all of you[^]
