My Kundalini awakening, as I can understand it, "happened" about a year ago. I was 18. It led to me dropping out of college and taking 2 semesters off to relax and take it easy as I learned to control myself.
I used two be on a drug called Adderall. It triggered something in me, where I was more aware of my intelligence and capability to express myself clearly. The problem was the withdrawal.
During this time, I smoked a lot of cannabis. I'm not against it, but I understand the problem of smoking too much.
While on Adderall, I used to feel something shift up my back. It straightened tension that I've had most of my life. I could sit straight, and it felt good to have a straight back.
Cannabis, combined with it and meditation, led to a series of out of body experiences that were VERY strange. I could hold a state of silence that was beyond the level of practice I was at. And it was easy. REALLY easy.
Near the end of the semester, before I left, I learned to balance my ida and pingala after reading a few things about K online. So at this point, the only AYP practices I had done were slightly unconscious mula bandhas, uddiya bandhas, jalandhara bandhas, and lots of art (if you consider that an AYP practice "wink!")
I felt my Kundalini rise to my Sahasrara. Early. And everything that you could expect from an early, drug induced K awakening happened in some shape or form. It wasn't pleasant. DURING states of high energy, yes, it was pleasant. But my heart didn't like it. My mind did. It wanted to observe everything that was going on. My heart just wasn't ready. And with a girl on my mind, take your typical adolescent love, and combine it with an early rising.
So this entire past year, I learned to balance myself. I read up on AYP. I haven't committed myself to Yogini's practices. I don't really self-pace in the proper way.
But I have my own way of handling my energy. So much tension about my existence has surfaced, gone away, come back, and eventually dissolved into nothingness.
I'm currently 19, about-to-return-to-college, and I dedicated months and months to adjusting, adapting, and growing. Most of the time, I was alone. I have a family. I have friends. But this entire process has been lonely. I'm glad that a forum exists where people can relate about these experiences. It takes SO MUCH load off my back
I'm an artist. I'm a photographer who draws, designs, and sometimes experiments with music.
I still occasionally smoke cannabis. I love what it does to my Kundalini. I understand when people detest it (I can agree to it with a whole-heart as long as they have experience) because I've experienced negative K effects while smoking. Only when it was too much. Otherwise, it really amplifies the clarity of whatever I'm experiencing and I get into a deeper state of silence while putting in less time and effort. (Hard work DOES pay off, though). Being my age, my friends around me probably don't smoke to enter deep states of meditation. But they get along with me just fine
I had one BHANG experience when I was on a trip to India. Wow.
Enter #346;iva's ABODE.
My family did not understand me well. Coming from a Hindu family, I was born in NY, and never really adjusted to my culture and religion earlier in my life. So the irony was that I was understanding deeper levels of my own family's religion, while at the same time, feeling excluded from my family for not being "normal." I don't see religion and non religion anymore. I see nothing except what is.
(Entering into deep states of meditation for hours. Gazing at a tree for days while taking breaks. Leaving social circles. Losing weight. Eating less, and leaving college, and smoking cannabis). It wasn't pretty at all.
So at this point in my life, I'm adept at handling my energy. I love exploring new things about yoga because I put so much into it. I've overloaded A LOT in the past, which led to my own way of self-pacing. Now, it's a bit difficult to overload, but it's always wise to cut down.
I'm glad that I experience more of existence. I'm glad that I can experience the world around me with a holistic, creative, AND logical mindset while at the same time, not thinking about anything. I'm glad I can do deep levels of Khechari without cutting my frenulum. (Everything happened naturally. I've used force during practice to push, but when I let go of the force, I can bring it back and up easily. Or into my gut.)
I love how much love I have running through that which I am. I don't love how I went through a period of "spiritual hell" in the last year. But I can't regret it. I learned too much from it.
I'm no longer on adderall. I smoke MUCH less. And I meditate much more.
I will infinitely send everyone my ecstatic bliss in safe quantities for all to succeed at whatever they're practicing. Do well.
OM.
http://i.imgur.com/42NlH.jpgDon't be afraid to go deeper if you think you're at a level of practice you can be proud of. Don't always kill your ego. Ego has a LOT of energy. Just put it into your practice and let your heart do the translation.
