Osho - Marriage and Children

[YogaIsLife]

Hi,

I wonder what your opinions are on the controversial Osho's take on MArriage and Children:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=5ocbZhRQS9I&feature=related

To be very honest I think he is just trying to be controversial and radical beccause I do believe there is a role of family, or at least the mother, in rising a child. I do agree on some things he says like if a married couple finds out that they don't love their partner anymore than probably it would be wise if they split up or at least worked it out, not pretended that everything was ok and kept repressing feelings, which is not good.

I think society is changing, but don't you think his ideas are too far-out? I do agree the old values are outdated and don't work anymore but isn't there a middle ground? What would that be according to you?

[CarsonZi]

Hi YIL!

quote:Originally posted by YogaIsLife

I do agree on some things he says like if a married couple finds out that they don't love their partner anymore than probably it would be wise if they split up or at least worked it out, not pretended that everything was ok and kept repressing feelings, which is not good.

My 2 cents on this as I am in a complicated marriage in which I did not marry for "love".....

I think it is best to use an opportunity in which you are married to someone you don't love, to learn to love that person.  In the 5 stages of "metta" as I am learning, the first stage is to learn to love yourself, then to learn to love someone you care for, then to learn to love someone neutral to you like the mailman, then to learn to love an enemy, then to learn to love the entire of humanity.  Don't you think that this type of opportunity would be a perfect way of learning to love someone?

Love,
Carson[^]

[YogaIsLife]

Hi Carson,

Yes, in theory. I do agree (and just posted a topic on that funnily enough - http://www.aypsite.com/plus-forum/index.php?topic=5032) that first we have to love ourselves and find the tresures (love) within ourselves so we can share it with others. But the rest of the technicalities and "stages" of love I'm not so sure - sure, if it helps and works to go by stages, then maybe it is best. In any case, I continue to think that, at the very least, if you are in supposedly love relationship (marriage, etc.) you have to at least be very honest with the other person and yourself on what your feelings are. That does maybe not necessarily mean that that is the end of that relationship, but it means that there is something wrong. Like in everything in life, if there is something wrong, we know it, and there is no need to repress it as it will only make it worse, yes? Better to try to solve it, ask for guidance, etc.

For me, and in this I agree with Osho, one must know very well why one is getting married because,in my personal case, I believe the act of marriage (the legal or religious) is a kind of a contract inflicted by the scoiety between two people, cutting their freedoms or at least putting an extra subconscious pressure that may inhibit them to express themselves freely if something is wrong or changes. This cuts personal freedom, a fundamental ingredient to happiness and the free expression of love, that, as we all know, go hand in hand. So, in the long term, this is counter-productive, for the true expression of true love between two people, don't you think? Again, this is my personal view and I have all the respect for people who get married based on their convictions and true heart feelings.

[Shanti]

With any guru or any spiritual speaker for that matter (including Yogani ).. take what hits home and move on. Generally no one person  gives you your entire truth... and getting stuck because we agree with a few points and not a few of the others really does not help.. that is the mind trap we need to watch out for... where instead of being happy with what touched us.. the mind starts analyzing every word spoken and judging the person the words came from (not saying you are doing this at all YIL.. just a general observation) and then goes into the mind trap of attaching to the person or the actions of the person or some viewpoints that the mind does not accept rather than just accepting the message that was required for an opening or inner knowing and moving on.

As Nithyananda says.. "pick the best flowers from different gardens and make a beautiful bouquet.. or as Nandhi said recently.. "its good to be like bee with the nectar to draw from all the flowers!"

Life sends things our way that we need at this point.. something in those videos touched you and got the message across.. accept those and move on. Then maybe few weeks or months or years later you may come across them again.. and you will get a completely different message at that point.

[YogaIsLife]

Hi Shanti,

Thanks for your message but believe me I understand it fully! I believe I can easily tell what my soul takes home and when my mind interferes and tries to analyse. I am more or less automatically (not to the point I want to but getting there) in just being and taking what comes, getting touched by whatever I need to be touched and not attaching anything to it.

I know his message was important to me, as I am dealing with these issues now. And that is why I've put it here for discussion because I was curious about what people that are seekers of enlightenment would think of marriage, for example, and of what he says in particular.

P.S.: Meanwhile, I've always had an analytical mind and it's a habit difficult to brake but thanks to Yoga I can see it through. I recently started a new relationship after many years alone and that is why I am searching these kind of questions It is quite natural, it's the feelings inside that are stirring me

[Shanti]

quote:Originally posted by YogaIsLife

 I believe I can easily tell what my soul takes home and when my mind interferes and tries to analyse. I am more or less automatically (not to the point I want to but getting there) in just being and taking what comes, getting touched by whatever I need to be touched and not attaching anything to it.

I know his message was important to me, as I am dealing with these issues now. And that is why I've put it here for discussion because I was curious about what people that are seekers of enlightenment would think of marriage, for example, and of what he says in particular.

P.S.: Meanwhile, I've always had an analytical mind and it's a habit difficult to brake but thanks to Yoga I can see it through. I recently started a new relationship after many years alone and that is why I am searching these kind of questions It is quite natural, it's the feelings inside that are stirring me

What an awesome reply YIL.

Yes.. it helps to ask questions. The mind is happy then.  And I see you get that you don't really need the answers (only your mind does), you will know what you need to know when you need to know it. Putting your question out here and getting people's answers/opinion may give that one internal click you need. Great way to approach it.

Thank You.

[YogaIsLife]

You're welcome, thank YOU!!!!

[sushman]

Good timing. I just saw that video in youtube (few mins back) and landed on this thread

As YIL pointed out, perhaps Osho was probably playing to the gallery.

I love his works (teachings and meditation techniques) and respect him a lot. He is one of those masters who inspired me in this path. But I think somewhere he went awry towards the end...not sure why. But who am I to judge him?

I totally agree with Carson. Marriage is an excellent opportunity to learn to love another person. From my experience, its a true mirror (or barometer) of where you are on the spiritual path. I struggle a lot to cope up with my spouse at times (mostly due to my ego, lethargy, selfishness) and continue my spiritual practices. But also I realize that trying to escape from it is not the solution. If i can't love my wife unconditionally and accept her for what she is, how can i advance in the spiritual path?. it seems easy to take sanyas than be a householder and practice spirituality

I think for some of us, marriage is a necessary process or step to become a better person spiritually before we embark fully on the spiritual path.

[Lili]

quote:Originally posted by YogaIsLife

Hi,

I wonder what your opinions are on the controversial Osho's take on MArriage and Children:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=5ocbZhRQS9I&feature=related

To be honest with you I find a lot of truth in this. I have tension towards my parents for dysfunctional behaviour due to fact their relationship was not harmonious. It is also v funny to watch!