Transformation

[Sonali]

I just joined this forum last week and am trying to give meaning to the transformation in my life by learning and discovering the spiritual aspect of this change. Before my life seemed chaotic and there seemed to be no outlet to express my deepest thoughts and feelings and especially frustration. Itseemed like I was all alone in this world and yet I was surrounded by a loving family, friends and others. Something changed and am not sure how, what or when. Nothing affects me in a bad way anymore. I feel like I am a being here now and gone soon. While I am here what I do matters yet if I am not the world goes on. And this feeling has given me a sense of peace. Itseemed like everything was about me before but not anymore. I do not have any expectations from anyone and not in a bad sense but in that nothing is in anyone's control and by judging, questioning I am being unfair to them. We are ultimately just people.  Itseems like I truly and deeply understand people now. Does anyone share this experience. I do meditate everyday but without any direction and am hoping there will be a sense of purpose and reason here that will explain where I am.

[Shanti]

Welcome Sonali.
What a lovely post. Thank you for sharing this with us. Yes, almost everyone here has experienced one part or all of what you have written. If you look around the forum, you will find a few active topics that are going on about what you have said here. So you are among friends.

"I do meditate everyday but without any direction and am hoping there will be a sense of purpose and reason here that will explain where I am."
If you would like to get into a structured practice.. you could give AYP a try. It has worked for so many of us here and I do hope it works out for you too.
The best way to do this would be to start reading from here. Start with deep meditation and then proceed with the lessons. I hope you will enjoy the lessons and will share your journey with us...