quote:
Originally posted by Nasasaya
I really just can't seem to get my self to meditate.I want to... and i've been in rhythms of daily meditation before, but i just can't seem to keep on going. Its a repetitive pattern of starting with an enthusiastic will to get settled into a routine, going to sit for meditation in the morning and evening, continuing for a few days, and then my interest takes me somewhere else and i just forget about meditating for a few days or weeks.
I am trying to be devoted to my spirituality in all things, but part of me really just doesn't care. And this seems odd because i've been on a spiritual path for a while, have had amazing revelations, deep feelings of bliss while being in the consciousness of the true self that I Am, and working with fascinating and deep subjects like, Sacred Geometry, Hebrew Caligraphy, Merkaba and Earth Grid vortex energy work, Divine Enchantments, Deep prayers and so on.
I don't know what it is... Well I have a clue... I've begun research into Psychology from this man on the internet. He is training people through videos and written lessons on working with the inner dialog of the Sub-Selves that tend to override the command of the True Self. And these sub-selves are caused by deep childhood imprints, and are the cause of different attitudes of life. For Ex. theres a Perfectionists sub-self whos dialog strictly consists of noticing imperfections and influencing correction, while another "The Procrastinator' sub-self has assumed the role of influencing the self to just relax and do it another day.
I'm examining this but i just wonder is there any thing i can do really?, other than working on my sub-selves, until i gain enough autonomy over my own life to sit down and meditate. Funny thing is that learning to develop an inner dialog between different Sub-Selves actually requires that i get comfortable close my eyes and go within to safe a environment where i may interact with the different roles of my mental being.
Any suggestions?...
In the beginning, most of us are not certain that there is a Self
out there, and we don't believe we can evolve to the point that
the Self is more real than our ego. One small part of us believes
this, and the entire world says this is bullsh*t.
But there is direct path to manifest this first exciting, fledgling
Self contact, that will show you that following a pretty much
complete path like AYP will be worth it.
It's very simple.
One Wordless Question; One Wordless EmotionYearn for your highest wholeness; your highest presence; your
highest clarity; your highest and most beautiful possible
completion; yearn to transcend all time and space and limitation;
yearn to know the unknowable; yearn to break all barriers.
The exact form of the yearning is slightly different for everyone;
but ultimately it's the same yearning.
Spend no less than 5 minutes doing nothing but wordlessly
yearning. It has to be pure emotion; pure will; pure need.
If you can't dig up this much yearning on a daily basis, there
may not be enough within you to carry you on a true spiritual
journey.
On days that you can't spend 5 minutes wordlessly yearning; when
you don't have the emotional juice for it; rather ask yourself
this one question:
"Who yearns?".
At the first you can ask the question with words; but keep at it
and eventually you will find you are wordlessly asking the question.
Spend 5 minutes wordlessly asking the question.
If you can do this for a month, just 5 minutes a day, maybe 10
minutes a day if you both wordlessly yearn and wordlessly ask,
after that period of time you will find yourself starting to change,
even of you do no other practices of any kind; even if you forget
everything you ever learned about spirituality.
Words of spiritual traditions will trap you; the words of others
will trap you; if you don't open up the lines of communication.
When I was in my 20's, I wanted to find a spiritual teacher, but
couldn't find one. I wanted to read inspired works that could
help me, even the words from spiritual classics of India were dull
and lifeless things.
But I did the simple practice here, and it wasn't long, before
golden ecstasy started awakening, and my desire to finish
the process became so powerful, that it carried me a very
long distance past all adversity; past all the bullsh*t / failed
systems in the world. It dumped me on the first 'far shore';
the first permanent unfolding of reliable presence and stillness.
One wordless question.
One wordless emotion.
That's all it took to ignite the slow process of transcendence.
Now if you abuse this practice, you will wind up with a terrible
unfolding. You must stop this practice once you get your first
genuine light in your head, and you know it's real.
Then you will have the enthusiasm to study a fine-tuned system
like AYP with self-pacing.
Why does this work?
This is actually an easy way to do Samyama; but not just the basic
Samyama, but a fine-tuned one.
The 'soul' is the source of emotional yearning for transcendance.
The 'atman' responds to the wordless question.
This practice awakens the Atman and the soul both at the same time,
just a bit. It acts through the channel in the heart, which bypasses
the ego.
It is really this simple.
Now if you keep doing this practice after the initial splendor
awakens in you, and don't move to a system like AYP with self-pacing;
if you do it for years like I did, you will awaken violently and it
will destroy your sanity and your health.
So don't do that.
It took me about 25 years to recover from my errors. In the end
it all worked out very well; but those were 25 lost years.
The reason you MUST do a complete system like AYP after the
initial ignition, is because you must also do these things
or all will go badly:
1) You must clean out deep energy blocks with Deep Meditation.
This also clarifies your connection to the silent witness.
Which you will desperately need to keep yourself safe.
If you don't, each of these impurities will become a monster
when fed spiritual energy.
2) You must build a functional Sushumna, or when Kundalini
further unfolds it won't have a correct path to follow.
For this you need Spinal Breathing and Pranayama.
3) All the other practices are invaluable; but these are just
two examples that show you will fry your brain and body if you
just abuse the simple 2-part practice like I did.
The modern world has ruined us. We've forgotten how to yearn;
we've forgotten how to be simple. The major veil of Maya is
our own 'cleverness', our own 'scheming'.
I hope this is of use to you and others.
Kev
