love and romance

[mukundaspupil]

Hi Yogis,

I've read some of the discussions on whether or not having a partner/family hinders your practice etc and my conclusion is that it need not, indeed as Yogani says having children of your own and a partner can keep you grounded while you practice whilst enhancing your experience. I'd like to ask you Yogis in relationships, who have been practicing for a couple of years or more, how you chose your partner. Where you already involved before discovering AYP or did you meet your partner whilst practising? Was physical attraction less important as a consequence of AYP,or did it have no effect on that? Thank you! :-)

[karl]

Met my partner a long time before AYP.  Practices are just an accepted part of every day life, nothing special and are treated that way by both of us. I'm not cultivating a lifestyle anymore than cleaning teeth is a lifestyle so it doesn't intrude. She supports the practices, but has no interest in doing any for herself. She witnessed a change after I attended NLP practitioner training and was convinced that anything along that line of development must be a good thing.

When we met we did not fall head over heels in love, neither was the physical attraction very strong. We were both motivated to find a certain character and a relationship based on friendship and being forthright. I don't think we ever had a choice when I look back. I never expected to find a person that fitted the criteria I had set ( if that sounds cold hearted, it wasn't a necessity to find someone because I had just backed out of one long term relationship and wasn't looking to rush into another, the criteria were really a brake on lust).

[maheswari]

dear Mukunda
just live the day...let life carry you as it pleases...we dont really have a choice,do we?
no physical appearance is not  an essential criteria...
neverthless this does not mean that one will not feel spontaneous physical chemistry...i think the physical chemistry is beyond the physical appearance, it is more an attraction to Unity...Siva  and Shakti

[mukundaspupil]

Hi Karl, thanks for that insight, I'm glad your partner is supportive of your practice. I like the way you don't make a fuss or a big deal of it :-) I know this is what Yogani advises us to do, but for me it's a big change in lifestyle. I was listening to some of the radio talks on this site and I believe I'm in the middle, you know where making more extreme changes are neccessary for purification etc and then later you can ease up on all that stuff. Maybe that's why I see practice as being quite dominant at the moment? I will have to let go a lot of my former habits if i'm to continue on this path...or continue lose them naturally as practice goes on, I suppose I'm just wondering what will replace them haha...the unknown! Aw, I know it will be all good. That's a very sensible approach you took, I wish I could do that but I'm not sure if I could, I'll see I suppose. :-)

Maheswari, thank you too. Yes, I know I should relax about it all, you're right, I suppose what will be, will be. It's just I wanted to make sure I'll be doing the right thing when I choose. I'm not sure if I'm meant to be part of a couple or not anyway. Siva and shakti, I will look them up. Thank you. :-)

[karl]

as it goes, let the practices make the changes for you. It's easy to get caught up in thoughts of living a different way, of huge changes happening. These things might happen but usually the changes are far more subtle. What you do doesn't necessarily change much at all, what changes is your thinking and perception of things. Sometimes these can feel momentous and  very disorienting and often gain a level of focus which can seem extremely dramatic and absorbing. These too are no more than small perceptual shifts and should be regarded as interesting scenery.

Slow and steady gets you there, no expectations or earth shattering experiences are needed, just a nice steady plod, one step after another taken softly.

[mukundaspupil]

:-) ok, i will leave this post as testimony (like a child's scribbles ) and see what happens over the course of the next while. I'm probably just being impatient to know haha...too much theory and not enough plodding! Peace and thanks Karl :-)

[karl]

[]Most of us have gone through, or are still going through those times of impatience. Early on it can seem that you have leapt onto a completely different planet, this is Bhakti kicking in, it lights the fuse and is the propulsive force which leads to anticipation of momentous things.

It will settle down and then there will be periods of frustration and sudden insights, things that were not noticed will begin to speak and guide. You will notice strange coincidences taking place and it can feel like been torn between two worlds, one which seems normal and another which seems like an increasingly weird wonderland.

It's just tiny shifts really, but bakhti keeps cracking the whip. It's important to understand that you don't change at all. This is the phrase " before enlightenment chop wood carry water, after enlightenment chop wood carry water". What happens is that you stop thinking you are orbiting and become the centre and things integrate. You climb the mountain, breathe the rarified air, see the world laid out below like a tiny model and then you go back down again. It happens over and over again, once it's happened a few times you can begin to expect it and keep more grounded. Still, enjoy the scenery.

[maheswari]

quote:It's just tiny shifts really, but bakhti keeps cracking the whip

hahaha love it[]
 

quote:You climb the mountain, breathe the rarified air, see the world laid out below like a tiny model and then you go back down again. It happens over and over again, once it's happened a few times you can begin to expect it and keep more grounded. Still, enjoy the scenery.

nice analogy[:p]

[mukundaspupil]

This is a great site, so glad I discovered it. Yes, you certainly have a way with words Karl. I look forward to experiencing everything you describe. :-)

[Assorted Vibrations]

quote:Originally posted by karl

[]Most of us have gone through, or are still going through those times of impatience. Early on it can seem that you have leapt onto a completely different planet, this is Bhakti kicking in, it lights the fuse and is the propulsive force which leads to anticipation of momentous things.

It will settle down and then there will be periods of frustration and sudden insights, things that were not noticed will begin to speak and guide. You will notice strange coincidences taking place and it can feel like been torn between two worlds, one which seems normal and another which seems like an increasingly weird wonderland.

It's just tiny shifts really, but bakhti keeps cracking the whip. It's important to understand that you don't change at all. This is the phrase " before enlightenment chop wood carry water, after enlightenment chop wood carry water". What happens is that you stop thinking you are orbiting and become the centre and things integrate. You climb the mountain, breathe the rarified air, see the world laid out below like a tiny model and then you go back down again. It happens over and over again, once it's happened a few times you can begin to expect it and keep more grounded. Still, enjoy the scenery.

Karl, thank you so much for these words.  They are just what I have needed to hear/realize for some time.