I don't believe in entities, just in potentials really... we all have the potential to be murderers or whatever. Me for instance, I held a deep hate towards some child molester in my youth. I have this thing with hate... the things I hate usually manifest themselves in my life till I transcend them... aka, people started thinking I'm a pedophile, and I hated that, and avoided it, and things like that become a sort of self fulfilling prophecy. I know I'm not a pedophile, though to others it has seemed that way, because so much of me was trying to avoid having it seem that way. I could be smiling, and then I'd see some younger girl, and I'd push back my smile... which later resulted in seeing younger girls, and smiling. The things we repress have their way of bouncing back. It sucks, but it's true.
The situation happened again last night, and I finally went as deeply as I could into that feeling of avoidance, and then came out the deep hate I had for that child molester\\that of being thought as one.
Deep deep hate that I had repressed.
Really, this experience of wrongly being touched, I believe was my first ever of being wronged by someone. I was too young to even logicise it though, to really "know" if I had been wronged. I mean, in feeling, I knew, but I was purely and utterly innocent, I didn't know how to think about the situation... the guy was really tricky, he did it in such a way (over my clothes) that I couldn't be sure... but in feeling I knew. And I basically forgot about it soon after... I had no thoughts to remember it, just a nasty feeling.
but many years later, I found out that this guy was known to molest children, and hate was very much there. My mom was the one to let me know, and again, I repressed this feeling, I didn't want her to find out, she already worries enough without my problems...
So yesterday, I avoided another younger girl, and I was so fed up with this situation. I allowed this feeling, I allowed the hate, I didn't logicise it, attach meaning to it, I just allowed the hate to transform, nothing forced, just allowed. I can't be sure what the hate was tied down to... it's just a feeling, but whatever it was, I allowed it. Feelings need not be tied down to thought, to beliefs.
And it took a few mins, and it went away and came back a little less strong. I could feel it going up the chakras. The devil really is the seed for god or the divine. It doesn't make sense, but it's true. I know many will resist this thought, though I'm after the all encompassing sort of truth. I'm after being at peace with myself and the world. I speak what I know, and suppose what I'm not sure of.