Wondering how to begin

[apatride]

Hello everybody,

I'm wondering about how to begin a daily practice, considering that within the past few months, I've experienced some imbalances due to kriya yoga practice (I'm not 100% sure, but I think it is).

I started AYP lessons at the beginning of 2011. Then in June, I took the kriya yoga initiation. I practiced 3 months, then stopped, then practiced a bit more, stopped... in May 2012 I decided I should go for the long run and practiced for 4 months straight, 1 hour meditation pr/dy. Then I stopped 5 months ago due to my first children birth and the unability to find the time to practice.

For a while now, approximatively 2 years ----- I can't remember exactly how much -----, I've been experiencing mood swings (anger, irritability) and physical symptoms  : pressure at forehead level, sometimes weak and sometimes very strong, and dizziness.

I'm quite sure it's due to meditation, but I think it got very strong when I started kriya yoga. I remember that the pressure in the forehead increased a lot during the 4 days retreat that followed the initiation.

I can't be very precise on the exact timing, because I was not really observing the relation between my practice and changes happening to me.

I read on AYP lessons that SPB + DM is a good combo to reduce imbalances, so I think I can rely on this daily practice. I don't think that self-pacing is the solution now, due to the fact I've not been practicing for the last 5 months. I can't self-pace more than that.

Do you think that SPB + DM is a good practice basis, and I should keep with that ? Or only DM for a while, then introducing SPB in a few weeks ?

I'd like to keep SPB as it seems a good technique to reduce imbalances and energy loads.

[Shanti]

Hi Apatride,
I am sorry if you have clarified this in your post and I missed it, but do you still feel the pressure in your head and anger and irritation in your every day life?

I would suggest to start with just meditation for a few days. Start with 20 min twice a day and see how you feel in a couple of weeks. If you feel things are a bit stable, then start with spinal breathing. I would not recommend starting both at the same time, as you will not know which of the two practices are helping and or making things worse.

In kriya, there is a lot of energy exercises and not much meditation (if I am right) and maybe what you need is to work on the stillness aspect right now to balance out the excess energy you may be feeling, and then adding the energy practice again(spinal breathing) may bring a nice balance.

Hope this helps.
Do let us know how the meditation goes.
Wish you all the best!

[apatride]

Thanks shanti for ur answer.

I still feel the pressure. Much, much less anger or irritation.

During SPB, the pressure in the forehead is increased when the attention goes to third eye location. It decreases only some time after the whole practice, 1 hour or maybe less.

I think you are right that only DM for a start could be a good starting point. See where it goes. It's hard for me to reduce my practice that much, but I guess it's wiser...

[Shanti]

Have you ever looked at a piece of food/dessert and said, "nah, I am full and if I eat this I will be sick"... and then eat it anyway and then suffer because the digestive system is really upset?

Our body speaks to us... it tells us when something is too much... if we don't heed it... we suffer. Your body right now is telling you spinal breathing is overloading you... respect the signals your body sends you... take a break and go easy... nothing is lost. If you keep pushing, and overloads get out of hand, then fear sets in... now the mind has stepped in and not only do you have to deal with blocks/purification, you have to deal with letting go the mind fears... and those are really hard.

I would really suggest only meditation for a bit... then in a couple of weeks add a few rounds/few min of spinal breathing. If there is no pressure in the third eye, then build up the time to 10 min of spinal breathing before meditation.

This journey is a marathon, not a sprint... enjoy it, don't push too hard.

Much love!

[apatride]

So this morning I did only 20 minutes DM, and no pressure in the forehead.

Except the everlasting one I've been experiencing for months now, but the DM itself was acutally quite smooth. I felt a little dizzy when I went out of it, not much.

Now the pressure in the forehead is back but I think the fact that I'm working on a computer almost 8h/dy is not helping

I think I'm a bit sceptical because the pressure in the forehead is still here after 5 months without any practice, I don't see how DM could solve it. But I'm gonna try and keep being patient.

[Shanti]

Did you rest after meditation?
Make sure you rest for 5-10 min after meditation... that will take care of the dizziness.

If nothing else has worked so far, what have you got to lose by giving only DM a try for the next few weeks?

I went through years of intense pressure in my head without knowing what it was... after I found AYP I added every practice in the book only to make that pressure worse. What I can share from my experience... after not listening to what people were telling me for about 6 months... I stopped everything and went for just DM... it still took 6-7 months for the pressure to be completely gone, but it did.
Hopefully you wont have to suffer that long.
Wish you all the best!


PS: One thing that helped me a lot with the head pressure was to consciously bring my attention away from my head to my body every time I became aware I was in my head. It is amazing how much we live there and that just adds to the pressure... so as you go about your day... if you become aware you are thinking from you head, bring you attention down to the lower part of your body, the throat, chest, stomach and think from there. Hope this helps.

[apatride]

I did only 20 min DM for the past 3 sessions, and had a 10 min rest after each one. I've had a delightful buzz in my whole body and it was feeling good to close my eyes and rest while the dizziness goes away.

No more pressure in my head after medidation, it comes back once a while during the day but I know it won't pass in a few days. Patience...

Yesterday I brought my attention to other part of my body when the pressure is unpleasant, and it helps indeed.

Thank you Shanti for your precious time

[apatride]

After more than 2 weeks of deep meditation (20 min twice a day), I found last week-end that the pressure in the forehead was much more bearable.

It has not disappeared, still there but much, much more smooth and diffused. It is now located in the whole skull, not concentrated in a single point, and that's a relief. Almost pleasant or galvanizing sometimes.

So I felt confident and three days earlier, I was thinking I could introduce SPB again, just 5 minutes to see where it goes. First i was afraid, i was petrified it was OK, not very deep nor powerful. The third time I tried to make my breath very deep and slow, and the extatic feeling rises from perineum.

DM after that SPB was delighfuly profound, the bodyload was very pleasant. After some rest though, I felt quite nauseous, and my forehead was pounding.

The day after I immediately paid for my hurry, with one of the worst pressure in forehead ever. I could not manage to concentrate on anything at work, and got very angry and irritated for nothing.
That day, I came back to DM only, and yesterday I was relieved from too much pressure once again. I'm truly amazed how fast I react to my practice.

Yesterday I did DM only again, and today I feel so much better, the pressure is diffused and almost pleasant, and my mood is far better than it was 2 days before, or even yesterday.

So I'm gonna stick to DM only for a few weeks, and I will try again SPB once in about 2 months to see if I'm ready.

Step by step...

[Shanti]

Thanks for sharing Apatride!

Yes, baby steps.. and when you do add spinal breathing back... just do 2 or 3 rounds of it and then build on that... 5 min SpB is a lot, esp. when you are sensitive to it.

[apatride]

After 2 months and a half, the pressure in the head has not lowen as much as I would have liked it to do. The pressure point has changed however, much more located in the middle/back brain rather than in the forehead as it did before. The pressure is more located in the left brain, before it was equally left/right/center brain-located. Don't know if it's relevant in anything.

A new thing is that it's irridiates in the upper jaw, and I often find myslef clenching my jaw, as it feels like tightening it releases the pressure in some extent. The moment I release the tightening in my jaws, the pressure in the brain is much more felt.

Cannabis and kratom (a plant infused for smooth opiate-like effects) manage to lowen the pressure down : cannabis does widen the space in the head and helps diffusing the pressure, when kratom helps to stay in a kind of artificial witness-mode, and adds some pleasurable body feelings.

I only do DM twice a day, 20 min each time, no more. Sometimes I feel like DM is tightening the pressure knot in my brain, and I end it with a strong pressure in the head. I don't think that quitting practice would help, as I had that kind of pressure in the head for 5 months with no practices prior to AYP's.

I have faith in DM practices, and will keep up with it. But I can't help thinkink it could be worsening the situation as far as I know. Any insight about further development would be much appreciated

[Shanti]

Thanks for the update.
Have you tried acupuncture or massage? Sometimes, these can help open up stubborn blocks.

[apatride]

I was thinking about it, but I admit being in a "why bother?" kind of mood sometimes
I will definitely give a try to acupuncture, can't be harmful...

Thnaks for your answer

[apatride]

Just to let forum readers know that my problem of pressures in the head is now gone. I can feel energy moving in Ajna sometimes but it does not bother me anymore, and I hardly feel it now.

Still dealing with this uneasiness in the chest and an overall feeling of being unhappy and empty, and I think that both are linked as general irritability and unhapiness come with a malaise felt in the chest... don't know how to get rid of the this one but who knows what's coming next