self pacing revisited

[jillatay]

So I finally gave in to more self pacing. My Bhakti is stubborn and just wanted to push through all the difficulties but I have been so agitated lately.  I actually wonder if I am picking up the energy of the collective because of the elections, which ends today. Yea!

So I am doing bare bones practice, 2 min. SB, 5 min. DM and one quick repetition of the Sutras, followed by rest.  The whole thing is less than 20 min. and surprisingly it is the longest 20 minutes of my day.  It is as if I am still doing the longer routine. Time really does dialate, I am sure of it now.  I find more silence doing this short routine too.  I guess it is obvious these two things are connected.  Still feel quite wired but it has only been 3 days so I will see how things go.  

Love to all,
Jill

[CarsonZi]

Hi Jill,

I had to self-pace a bit extra this past week as well...In fact I had to almost cut out pratices all together this weekend.  And I get the time dilation thing too.....sometimes when in meditation I completely lose all track of time, and honestly can't tell whether 5 seconds has past or 5 hours.  Usually turns out to be about ten minutes I find.  I get this especially strong during samyama.  I will get "lost" between sutra's and have a hard time coming back to the next one because I can't figure out how long it has been since the last one, and usually I forget which sutra or repetition I am on.  I'm pretty sure it's all just another phase to be worked through though.  Keep actively self pacing as you are and I'm sure things will smooth themselves out in no time.

Love,
Carson[^]

[jillatay]

We could be twins Carson!  Sounds so familiar to my own experiences.  Tell me a little bit about how you got here and what practices you did before. I wonder if our constitutions/brains are similarly wired.

Best wishes,
Jill

PS I read also about the songs stuck in your head. Same here. I found out something that helps but it is not AYP. Write me off list if you are curious.

[CarsonZi]

Hi Jill....
I've always wanted to be a twin!!  Hurray!  haha.  I got here by doing a Google search for "Kriya Ibogaine" as I had recently started doing the SRF Kriya Yoga lessons and was looking into doing an Ibogaine treatment to get off of methadone.  I have really no yogic background.  I was born into a very fundamentalist Christian family and was a "born again" Christian until about the age of 12.  At that point I started to smoke weed, and my whole outlook on religion changed drastically.  I started reading all the other major world religions that I could, from Buddhism to Bwiti, saw all the similarities and drew my own conclusions.  Eventually I started a religion of my own with a few close friends called "Zi".  (Hence the name CarsonZi)  At 15 I moved out of home and started snowboarding semi-prosoon after and doing my high school by corrospondence.  Eventually I got really tired of the "scene" and the snowboarding job and I decided to actually graduate from a school for real, and I moved to Calgary to graduate.  From there I started a band, opened a recording studio, got hooked on IV meth and heroin, got engaged and "divorced", then got on the methadone program, ended the band, took a regular day job and about three years later I am now married, working a day job, and now a night job at a homeless shelter and practicing AYP 2 hours a day.  I have a high IQ, don't want to say here exactly what, but it's higher than average, and I read a LOT.  Not sure what else I should include here....Let me know if you have any more questions and I'll try my best to answer.  I will email you tomorrow on the "stuck in the head song thing."  

Love,(your twin[])
Carson[^]