Hi Katrine,
quote:
Originally posted by Katrine
I am very glad you made it to the Bhudda class
Also...good to hear you feel better. It's all down hill from here...you know....just like the river
I am very glad I made it to the class as well all things considering. The class I am taking has a prerequisite class in "mindfullness meditation" that is supposed to be taken before it, but I conviced the owner of the studio through conversation to let me take this course without taking the prerequisite. I am glad too because the course I am taking now is still a little "mickey mouse" compared to the AYP approach to things. The teacher actually told me after the class that she thought I was too advanced for the course, but I told her I was there for the Satsang and group meditations more then anything and was happy just to be there regardless. I got the impression after spending about 20 minutes after the class talking with her that she may ask me in the future to start teaching AYP classes there so maybe this is the reason I had this course fall out of the sky into my agenda. Who knows. It also fits so nicely in with the "Real Love" book that it can't have been coincidence![
] (I did not know when I signed up it would be a course in "metta")
quote:
Originally posted by Katrine
Yes.....I have had openings many times when ill. Your experience...the love in heart......that is so beautiful, isn't it....one simply must cry.....it is too much to "hold".....
And the devotion increases every time this happens.....
Yes, the release was amazing. Having the pain move to outpouring love, (and this truly was OUTpouring even though there really was no outlet, as there was NO keeping this inside) was more then I could handle. Crying was the only outlet I had at the time and it WAS beautiful. And yes, the bhakti is going wild now[
].
quote:
Originally posted by Katrine
I hope you can meditate again now...that your stomach will stay calm.
Still having some stomach issues and I doubt they will go away anytime really soon, but I can deal with it today much better then yesterday. I have been using marijuana to deal with my stomach issues for so long now, that my body has no idea how to cope without it. Good thing I'm learning that "I" am not my body cause before this would have been unbearable. I was able to get a short meditation in before work this a.m., but also am still having some crown issues so I am having to keep them short and sweet. But sweet they are![
]
quote:
Originally posted by Katrine
f.ex....when I ran a high fever....I experienced being looked at...by a loving Eye.....it was the bluest of the bluest....with a golden hue....it was pulsing....and truth poured out of it......into the heart.
Yes! Last night I saw "the eye" as well. Didn't really want to say anything in my opening post of this thread because I find when other people talk about seeing stuff like this I can get a little jealous[:I], but right before I had the OBE I saw the "eye" that I was feeling the wind through, open up and look at me. And it was blue as well. I had never seen this before and kinda thought it was my mind playing tricks on me until I was suddenly "gone" and then I knew there was probably something to it. Didn't want to ascribe too much to this little bit of "scenery" though[
].
quote:
Originally posted by Katrine
After illness...there would be insights....things would just naturally appear clear. So....this is purification.
That's kinda how I took it as well. Especially because of the "pain" in my heart which then shifted with my awareness on it. This HAS to be some sort of purification right! haha.
quote:
Originally posted by Katrine
I am curious....the one...hoot, was it?.....does it tempt you to smoke another one? Or are you ok with the abstinence now?
Actually, unbelievably, NO! Hurray!!! I have no desire to go back to being a "chronic" pot smoker. The attraction has ceased! I put that one "hoot" off all day long, even though I knew it would make me feel better, until I absolutely "needed" it. (I felt I needed it because I would never have made it to my class if I hadn't and I really didn't want to miss the first class) But after having that one hit I put the bong away, and didn't think about it again. I may potentially go buy a small amount of ganja just for this purpose (for help during sickness) but I am confident that I can stay away from my past patterns. Thank God and thank you all for all your prayers and samyama as I'm sure I could NOT have done this without all of you and your well wishes. I can't thank the AYP community enough.
Love Always,
Carson[^]
P.S. Congrats on your 1000th post! haha