Ego Death Help Part II / Dark Night Soul

[Nancy]

Hi There
I just wanted to give you guys an update....
I have not felt, seen, or been bothered by dead people or forces since my last post....
When I get out of my head, I am in control - When I am in my head, my mind is controlling me.

LOL... I just reread what I wrote above, and am cracking up hysterically because what doctor would not classify all of us as schizophrenic

But seriously I feel sooo much lighter living out of my head.. Does that mean I need to start looking for a job??
Living in Love & Light
Nancy

[Christi]

Hi Nancy,
 

quote:Hi Everybody

I felt an anchor removed from my chest as I read arzkiyahai's post regarding support with ego death and everybody's reponses.
Thank You arzkiyahai, as your post has helped me to bring out my life long darkest experiences of fear/ reality / and serious concern, in hope to gain some clarity that can move me in a lighter direction.
http://www.aypsite.com/plus/forum/topic....ID=3802#3802

I have been in the midst of a kundalini awakening for many years now
I feel as though I was born in this world nearly enlighted, however fear / ego / dark night of the soul has stopped the enlightenment mission I am sure. I feel this ego-death has been knocking on my door for some time now, as I have been suffering for 2 years with identity crisis, as well as intensified fear beyond self control at times.

I do self pace, ground & stabalize myself...

I am a tree, I walk, I began eating more chicken, I play with my children inside and out, I sit and enjoy wathing my beautiful Koi fish, I have reduced my meditation times as well as stopped for a few days, I have to wear a hat some days just to take care of my children. I purposely put myself in a completely different enviornment to be certain that the thought is as far out of my mind as possible, but yet, just hearing the word KUNDALINI or spiritual, just writing this right now, the pressure begins. The crown pressure and spacy feelings at one point used to hurt me, but they dont any longer.
I feel the need to stop the crown pressure activity, because as much brilliant white light I know I have within me, I know there is darkness within me as well. I know the darkness has entered due to many years of living in fear and not being knowledgable in auras or protection for myself.
Here is what I need help with... the experiences during meditation, are being simply witnessed.
But what about the other experiences, that do not occur during meditation?
Those are the experiences that keep me feared and anxious inside. Meditation, breathing and stillness has helped get a better handle on it - but what hapens when the IT has manifested into reality or has somewhat always been in the physical plane of my life? How does one handle that?
I dont just sit in a corner and shake, I envision myself getting filled with white light, I say the Lords prayer, I ask St Michael to come and help revoke any lost / dark soul to their highest good with no harm to anybody involved. I have even squashed (as much as possible) the three children's bickering among each other.

I would like to know if this is part of the normal process, my fear, ego death or the dark night of the soul that I hear about?

Things in my home move, we have electricity issues always, I hear voices that are not speaking so nicely, I have captured an energy entity on film - this energy begins to bother my children as they sleep. I have horrible nightmare that involve demons. I have seen my eyes become neon green and pupils yellow. As I meditate I have heard a definate outside of my mind, behind me grunt with heavy breathing. I do not even trust my own thoughts any more, because I wonder if they are my own. At one point in my life, I would of been described as a person who was loving, too sensitive, and wears my heart on my sleeve. Now I am finding so much anger towards my husband, who does not deserve my attitude or tone, and much impatience with everyday things. More recently, most terrifying and embarrassing to bring up... I was being "intimate" with my husband, the "connection" feeling between us was present, I was (pleasured) we switched to a different position, he gently grabbed my hair then immediately began to have an orgasm and at the same time I saw / felt my entire face - eyes teeth glow neon green.

I have the best days - then the most depressed days - I have been living like a yoyo for months now. I am feeling discouraged as I feel like I have come so far in fighting my fears, so grateful to have learned spinal breathing - it has leveled out all the kundalini energy burning I was experiencing for years, but yet I cannot seem to breakthough my "demon". Any insight or others experience would be much appreciated.

Living in love & light
Nancy

Sorry to hear you are having so much trouble. I wouldn't worry too much about these things. Meditate, and be calm and you should gradually rise above your anxieties and fears. Also, as you raise your spiritual vibrations, lower entities will bother you less. The spirits you see and hear are real, and exist in a dimention close to the earth realm. As you progress spiritually, higher beings (from a more distand dimension) will become more interested in you and will visit more frequently, and these beings will help to dispel any darker forces.

Don't worry about the neon green light, this is an aspect of your light body and it is a good sign that you are seeing it. Anger is also normal and comes up from time to time as the 3rd chakra opens and suppressed feelings are cleared out.

Take it easy, and slowly and I am sure everything will be fine. Avoid alcohol if you can.

All the best,

Christi