Namaste Friends.....
Just wanted to share a milestone I realized about a month ago I have had....
It being summer, in Canada, there are only basically 3 months of decent weather worth vacationing during....June, July and August.....generally, just about everyone in Canada ends up taking a vacation during these months unless they are travelling abroad during the winter or something.....I used to LONG for my summer vacations....I used to suffer every year after High School ended and I no longer had two beautiful summer months to do sweet nothing but get a tan. I have also been the type of person who ALWAYS had to be wearing a watch, and who always needed to be aware of what time it was.
I realized this summer, that I do not have any longing to go on vacation anymore. My wife went on vacation for two weeks without me this summer and I never thought twice about it...never felt sorry for myself, never wished I could be somewhere I am not...etc etc. Many of my friends couldn't believe I wasn't taking a summer vacation this year, and couldn't believe that I wasn't upset over this....(they've known me for a long time[
]) I also stopped wearing a watch about a month or so ago. This is the first time since I was probably 6 years old that I haven't worn a watch absolutely every single day. I am the type of person who looks at his watch every 5 minutes too. I really don't care what time it is anymore. I still have a clock on my stove at home so I am not late for work in the mornings, and I have a clock at work on my computer so I know when to go home....but I have been at work and lost track of time and ended up leaving almost an hour late one day because I had zero desire to look at the clock and had lost track of time. If this had ever happened in the past I would have freaked out....it would have ruined the rest of my day because I would have felt like I needed to rush around and I have always hated feeling rushed. But on the day this happened it was nothing at all. I didn't even have the anxious feelings I normally would have, arise at all.
I feel very lucky right now that I no longer "wish" to be somewhere I am not (on vacation), I am plenty happy every single day doing whatever it is I do that day, and I don't feel the need anymore to know what time it is....I am happy no matter what time it is and where I am/what I am doing. No one around me seems to realize how much of a breakthrough this is for me...doesn't really matter either....I have changed...there is change, growth....even if I am the only one that recognizes it, it doesn't matter.....I am happy to be where I am right Now.
Love,
Carson[^]
